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I have three kids, a husband who works full time, and take care of my 75 yr old paraplegic father.
I have recently been diagnosed with Lupus, and still being screened for cancer. I simply am unfit to continue to attempt to meet my father's needs. :(
Yet he cannot afford the cost of nursing home care. What do I do???

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Well, ive checked with assisted living, and they add on a cost of care on top of his rent. Then theres a nursing home that he can afford, but they too dont cover his perscriptions, phone, clothes or incontinence needs, and its not exactly wheelchair friendly, in fact they dont even want him to bring his electric wheelchair with him, just his manual one, but i dont even see how his manual one is going to fit down the narrow hallways and tight turns and into his bedroom. They also want first/last and a non refundable movi in fee. Bringing the first months total to 5,350.00 So im checking with a skilled nursing home, but afraid they too are going to be outrageous.
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The reason i assumed you were talking anout AL and not a nursing home is that most NHs do not " add on" services. What are the additional charges for, and do think he doesn't need them? Perhaps you are correct.

Have you loked at several places and compared prices?
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Does he have other health issues besides being a paraplegic?
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He needs more of a nursing home than assisted living. :(
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Get a Needs Assessment from your local Area Agency On Aging. See if it agrees with the AL one.

Go with your dad to an eldercare attorney and see about doing a Miller Trust to help him qualify fo Medicaid.
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Are you talking about a Nursing Home or assisted Living?
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He lives in my home. He is not considered low income enough to qualify for anything, yet he is approximately 1000.00 short of being able to afford the monthly cost of a nursing home after they do a level of care evaluation and drive up the cost. :(
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Jamie, MedicAID is used for people who are low income in order for the State to pay for care. Depending on what programs are available in your State, maybe Medicaid could send someone to your home to help out for a few hours each week.

Otherwise, Medicaid would help pay for your Dad to live in a continuing care facility, such as a nursing home. Call your State Medicaid office to see if your Dad could qualify.

Does Dad live in your home or do you live in his home? This will be asked by Medicaid when they do a 5 year look back on finances to see how his money has been used.
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A needs assesment,,,who do i ask for that? Adult protective services?
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What is medicaid, he already has medicare. Im confused.
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The only solution I can think of is to see if he qualifies for Medicaid. You can check at www.Medicaid.gov for your state. You can even do the application from there after you get all of his financials together. Sometimes we can't take care of them ourselves. You have to apply each year for Medicaid, so it's a bit of a pain, but definitely worth it if he qualifies.
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Get your father qualified for Medicaid. Call your local Area Agency on Aging and set up a "needs assessment". It's the first step.
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