Hi- My husband is in assisted living memory care with Alzheimer’s. They haven’t been changing his stool filled diaper. I have been the only one changing him since before Christmas except one aide who changed him once. They just say he’s combative and it’s all their approach. They will go in with three people two grab his arms and the third starts to change him. He thinks he’s being attacked. They are supposed to walk away and reapproach, but now I believe they just keep saying he won’t let them. I’ve heard them changing other people and so many of them are awful yelling at the residents. Then I’m told he could do damage. I think they are afraid. He is only 77 and very sweet almost always but is cranky if he’s full of stool, just woke up or he doesn’t like to change. He’s in Ohio and I just don’t know what to do.

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If I had dementia and 3 healthy people came in my room and 2 of them held my arms down I'd think I was being attacked too. There has to be a better way. The staff is creating a bigger problem by approaching him in this manner.

Have you spoken with the director of nursing? I think that would be the person you'd go to. Don't threaten or mention any kind of action you could take, that will just bounce back onto your husband. Approach it as a problem that all his caregivers, including you, need to find a solution for.
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I would definitely let the director know that the staff needs training. Leaving a person in a dirty diaper is unhealthy and can cause infections. What you are describing is unacceptable behavior and legal action can be taken for your husband called pain and suffering.
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