My mother didn't want to be removed from her home when medical professionals determined it was no longer safe for her to live alone. She suffers frequent UTI's and dementia. She was 180 days backlogged on her medications, which includes CHD, was letting food rot in the refrigerator and freezer, had a number of falls causing her injuries, and failed a cognitive test resulting in her drivers license being revoked. The doctors at the hospital said they would install her in an assisted living facility 350 miles from where I live if an in-home care service or coming to live with me was not possible. I brought her home with me to live in another state.
Mom has always been an independent soul and does not like anyone telling her what to do. So after the first month she began to devise ways to escape and return to her vacant home claiming her 83 year old boyfriend could take care of her. Under his prior unofficial care, she acquired the 9 month backlog of medications, and accumulated regular withdrawals from her bank ATM that she failed to record and could not recall happening. After 8 months of avoiding her phone calls and pleas to come visit her the man took my mother from her AL apartment taking her to his home in the other state. The next morning he drove her to her banks (there were several) to withdraw her funds, and close the accounts of which I was co-owner as her DPOA. The banks advised me to place the funds in a temporary account until things settled down. APS was called to assist, and attorneys were contacted about getting a fiduciary or a guardianship established. APS was unsuccessful in getting mother to cooperate, and that particular state supports the individual's right to choose. It doesn't matter if choices are wise or harmful. As a result, my DPOA was revoked and her will was changed.
Inside of two months, the man married my mother and her funds and other assets she left behind were delivered to her attorney. Now, my mother tells people that I didn't treat her well, I abandoned her and took her money and her car. She wanted to have her own place even though we never charged her a dime to live with us in our home, she left her car and didn't send anyone to get it. She left behind all her clothing, furnishings, medications, taking nothing but the clothes she wore and her purse. Its been a year and it continues to hurt my heart when others call me to tell me Mom is still telling the lies about what really happened. I've tried calling her, left my phone number numerous times, but she doesn't call back. The one time I got her to answer the phone she avoided my questions about her behavior. We used to be very close. She was like a best friend and confidant. I'd like to restore the relationship before she passes away. Help?