Are there any memory care facilities that are progressive to a person's stages of dementia?

Larswitts: I hope that your mother's Thiamine deficiency is under control as it is a key factor of Wernicke's Encephalopathy.

The mismatch is hard, isn't it?
You would have to find a facility or care home that has a secured main entry. At my parent's (Bickford) you have to have a key fob or wait to be buzzed in the main door. Depending on where you live it might be hard to find a nearby AL/MC like that. A group care home might have the level of security you need.

Depends on where she is located. We are in Florida and Artis will not separate residents by ability. Bit they seemed to have the most competent care at the time so it was a trade off. As someone else mentioned, mom initially helped with setting tables and laundry but meals were a problem for a while when none of the others in her area were verbal. It was depressing.

another place nearby has 4 small buildings and they move residents based on ability and care level. But I did not choose it because it was sad looking facility and worn down. No one spoke English at all which would have confused my mother.

At my mother’s MC, there is a lady who is at early stages.

She is bright and cheerful, and has elected herself as the Mother Hen of the group.

She pushes wheelchairs for people, helps out the Aids, and generally makes life better for everyone.

Maybe there are “jobs” that your mom could do.

When my mother first got to MC, she did lots of collating and stapling and “paperwork”. She had been a secretary earlier in her life, so she really enjoyed doing this kind of “work”.

This was a big problem for Mom. Her original facility did not do as management and intake had promised. Mom ended up alone, having no one to engage with other than staff who were too busy (resonantly so). The few activities they had were oriented towards residents way, way, way too far gone.

That being said, since your Mom has a non-ALZ dementia, my advice is to ask your specialist neurologist or memory care clinic. If she isn’t seeing a disease specialist, you might try to get connected to one ASAP. Even when she goes into memory care, having a team of specialists who understand her likely disease progression you can rely will help because they can interface with medical staff in a way you can’t.

Also finding a disease-specific support group for you can also help. Many university memory clinics have remote options if you aren’t in a bigger city.

Mom has been misdiagnosed several times, but during COVID, I joined a wonderful remote Lewy Body support group run by a social worker with the university memory clinic. Mom wasn’t a client, but the group was open anyway. After about a year I started realizing she didn’t “fit” the other people’s loved ones, so when we could have her seen again, they concluded she did not have Lewy. The group shared a ton of information every month, including places loved ones were or were not doing well, so if you’d have been looking you could have gotten on the ground info from caregivers, not marketers.

You may also want to think about ways you can augment her care. We don’t have many good non-private pay options here that understand non-ALZ dementias. The physical care is ok, but missing psychosocial, emotional and cognitive care. At the moment, Mom is somewhere she is safe and they are kind, and any thing else is up to me.

Finally, no matter what anyone in intake and sales tell you, visit multiple times, day and evening, and sit long enough they forget you are there. Watch the residents and how they interact and how the aids interact with the residents and the aids with each other. You’ll soon get the character of places. And places that won’t let you sit are not where you want your mom to be regardless of how many checkboxes they tick.

Just my thoughts for whatever they are worth.

I don't have exact experience with this but I do know that reputable facilities with engaged and compassion staff & admins will work with residents if their families request that they attempt to fold in their LO into a "helper" position so they can put their existing abilities to good use. Win-win.