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There are no laws, state or federal, that require adults to change their parent's bm pants. No laws that someone must provide transportation to all appointments. No laws about hand-feeding your parents. No laws about which holidays we are required to send our parents cards or gifts.
When you think about it, how could laws require hands-on care of one adult by another?
NES0001, it isn't really left to you. You have the same rights to make decisions for yourself that your sibs do. They chose not to be involved, you apparently chose to provide some care. There is no law forcing you to do this, any more than there is a law forcing your sibs to get involved. I know it FEELS like you have no choice ... we see that posted here a lot, "I had to move in with my mother." No. There is no "have to" about it. It is your choice.
1) Realize that you cannot make decisions for your siblings. Trying to do it leads only to frustration.
2) Remind yourself that caring is your choice, and also why you make that choice. (Love, guilt, conscience, pay-back, etc.)
3) You have a choice about how much care you are willing and able to do. As JoAnn describes, it is perfectly OK to arrange care by other people. Make choices and set boundaries.
There is no law that says you have to keep doing what you are doing if it is not working out for you.
Personally, of the 5 remaining sibs in my family, one (brother) has mother living with him. I do what I am allowed, but it's not much, Other 3 sibs might make a phone call once every 3-4 months. Two of them will throw any amount of money brother's way to pay for anything mom might need, but won't do "boots on the ground" care.
Sometimes (more than we'd like to think) our parent(s) were not great. We couldn't wait to grow up and flee the nest. And didn't want to go back. It is EXTREMELY hard to caregive for someone who was neglectful/abusive to you your whole life.
You can always try to get your MIA sibs to toss a few bucks your way and get some aides for you to have respite. A lot of people feel vindicated by doing that and not actually having to "do" anything.
As far as I understand it, there is no law that can force your siblings to assist you in caring for your mother. She hasn't even been abandoned, because there you are - right there, holding the fort.
What do you want the three of them to do, exactly? Pay up? Get involved? Just not be such lowlifes?