85 years old, newly diagnosed, still ambulatory but unsteady. She still lives alone as of now but that may be changing if her dementia progresses. She is nervous about showering when alone and is becoming unsteady getting in and out of her shower over tub. We are wondering if affordable services are available just for showering/personal care. I just know that part of her care will be too difficult for me. Not even sure how my mom will feel about this but just thinking about future needs.
In my area agencies had either a 3 hour minimum or 4 hour minimum.
Also, there is no "if" your mother's dementia gets worse. It will get worse unless she dies first. It would be a good idea to look into some LTC facilities or inquire about live-in help.
Coverage for us was 4-16 hrs/week for my FIL who was a 40% disabled vet, and twice weekly shower aides from Medicare for 8-week periods (3 of them total for my MIL) when prescribed by her doctor either for an initial assessment or in response to an incident or injury.
Talk to the your mom's doctor about whether/how they can help with Medicare aide in your state, call your Area Agency on Aging to see how things work in your state and county. Everything differs greatly by state, some by county, some by Medicare plan type and provider. In general, I believe you *may* be able to get some temporary help with shower and other ADL assistance but outside of VA benefits you're probably looking at private pay with an agency or independent caregiver.
That is the sad truth.
And in all honesty your mother should probably not be living by herself anymore, so until you can figure out what her care will look like going forward, you may want to install some inexpensive security cameras where you can check in on her through your phone throughout the day and night.
Make sure that your mothers shower has a steady shower bench in it, grab bars, a slip proof mat, and a hand held shower head, as those things will help her feel more comfortable.
And then as already mentioned you can check with Care.com to find someone to come help your mother, until you find a the right facility to place her in.