I am struggling with some issues at my mom's memory care facility. While there have been some things that are clearly unacceptable and we have discussed those, there are others that leave me wondering if I have unreasonable expectations. I worry that if I bring them up, I'm just nit-picking and will create new issues. We have a camera in her room so I am able to see things that normally wouldn't be observed.
Some examples:- She was woken up at midnight the other day for a shower. It wasn't because she was soiled, this was her normal shower day and they gave her the same pajamas to put back on after it was done.- People will walk in during the night and immediately flip on the overhead light. It just seems unkind to me. I appreciate them checking on her, but couldn't they do it without immediately flipping on an overhead light? I would be so unhappy to regularly be woken up that way.- Other nights she'll go up to 12 hours without being checked on. It seems crazy to me that she could potentially be laying on the floor needing help for 12 hours in a staffed facility like this.- One day I observed another resident wonder into my mom's room and she sat there for 2 hours by herself. Essentially a resident went missing for 2 hours in the middle of the day and no one noticed. I called the facility and told them she was in there, only then did someone come get her.
I know this is a job for the people working there - things happen and no one is 100% all the time, but these kind of little failures (to me at least) are happening regularly. What do others think? Are my expectations unreasonable? It's not like we're paying for one-on-one care, but it also certainly isn't inexpensive care.
By law, the Contact for the Ombudsman is posted at the nursing station or Office in plain view.
Attend a Care-team meeting and confirm the schedule for a check on the resident.
Review the contract about what services are covered, including the advertisements and enticements to persuade the client to live there.
World events and staffing issues are no excuse to put your loved one at risk.
Hire an overnight aide and (sue) to Bill the facility for this service if this was part of the facilities contract with your loved one. imo.
Consider a lawsuit using a pro-bono attorney for the late-night shower abuses, but
only if you are removing her to a safer facility soon.
But if you really want things to change and make a difference, release the shower video to the news media, opening an investigation. Maybe before that, make a police report?
the head there sounds like they should be in prison
What I’ve found is just be the squeaky wheel but pick your battles. Midnight showers - not okay. 12 hours without a bed check - not okay (I’m battling the same thing). Flipping lights on, leaving tv blaring , etc - let it go.
Get to know the staff. Appreciate and show it to those who do a good job. be as visible as you can be but don’t do their job.
I recommend cameras to everyone with a loved one in MC, AL or LTC because sometimes I’m appalled at what I see on the cameras and I can only imagine what happens to those residents who don’t have cameras.
Good luck and know that you are not alone.
I'd look for another MC with locks on each residents door, for one, which eliminates wandering into one another's rooms entirely. And one with a shower schedule that takes place during the DAY. And where 2 hour checks is the norm, so you don't have to watch a camera 24/7.
Good luck to you.
You're so right about the 12 hours! That is a LONG time to not check on someone. She could have been dead on the floor for 11.50 hours and no one would know.
We simply cannot know how many times you ask question s, how many calls they get from you, nor the manner of approach. We can't know WHO you are approaching, in fact. Nor how often. But you, yourself are apparently uncomfortable about it, and that's a good sign.
So I would make an appointment with the admins. I would give them this note to us. I would tell them that we as strangers likely can't answer it so well as THEY can. Tell them the last thing you want to do is harm her care, and you are afraid if you ask a ton of questions people will resent you and take it out on her.
To me, when my brother first went into ALF the rules were they DID check at night. They entered the room without knocking, but always with low beam flashlight, just checking for safety. He was easily awakened and hard to fall asleep, was in a two room unit, and felt honestly almost raided by these visits. We were able to have it written into care plan that it was his wish and families not to be disturbed until 6 a.m., and not to have his locked door entered without knocking.
Some things can be "fixed" and some things are "rules" (like nighttime checks). I am very surprised at entering and putting on the lights. I am very surprised at putting dirty clothes back on a clean resident. Perhaps there's an explanation???? I do remember having two kids and no washing machine and saying "You cannot change your jammies every night; if they are clean wear them twice". I don't know policy here.
So I would, again, discuss this with admins. They will admire your attempts not to be a pest, but your love and advocacy for your loved one.