My father has been living in a LTC facility for 16 months. For the past 3 months, it’s been on lockdown. I used to visit my dad every day - most times for 3 or 4 hrs, but since March, no visitors, no activities, no entertainment. NOTHING IS GOING ON. I FaceTime him as much as possible and still talk to him on the phone every day, but there’s no doubt that it’s lonely and isolating. Besides that, my father contracted COVID a month ago and is now in a quarentined unit. He had very mild symptoms (which was good) but he still had it and as a result, he’s further isolated now that he’s in the quarentined unit (an area the is closed off for any resident who tested positive). The facility hasn’t retested him to see if he’s negative. They told me that residents who previously Tested positive are not on the list of who needs to be retested (according to the CDC). There is no end in sight as to when I will get to actually see him. The facility that he pays roughly 14,000/month for has completely changed as a result of this Covid nightmare. Nothing is going on and residents are expected to be satisfied with independent activities. Employees who work there get to go home, go shopping g, and do whatever they do before coming in the next day for work. They get screened but why can’t I go through the same screening to be able to see my father? I barely get updates on his status and I can’t check up on him (in person) to make sure that he is emotionally well. Is it wrong of me to expect more of an explanation as to why there hasn’t been a reduction in his monthly bill? How do I handle this?
Everyday, we wave to mom thru the closed window...she no longer knows how to use the phone so we can't talk to her. We are not allowed to have the window open. Mom is confined to her room, alone, bored, loosing her mind and body.
Before the lockdown in March: Mom could walk on her own (though we discouraged it). Mom called us and picked up the phone when called. She loved meal times in the dining room where they played Mitch Miller and everyone sang along as they ate. Mom loved the music and Bingo in the common room. All of that is gone as everyone is confined to their rooms just like in a hospital but w/o visitors.
Today my mom can't operate a phone. She cannot even stand up as she is so weak. Her teeth are missing (probably thrown out in the trash w/ paper plates the meals are served on), and she is down to 97 lbs on her 5'5 frame. She sailed thru the virus but the isolation is killing her. The staff tells me all of the Memory unit residents have stopped eating since lockdown.
Why are we locking down people who are losing their minds. The isolation is speeding up the process. I think loved ones of these inmates are OK with them dying but dying alone is heartbreaking for all. In July the facility will review their policies. Will anything change? Will Mom recognize us or even live long enough till we can touch her and talk to her once more. They let out convicts for their health but keep our elderly locked up & dying from the isolation. I am ANGRY and telling me that we all must sacrifice at this time does not help. We are not equally "all in this together". I don't know if the CDC is pushing this, the Government regs, the facility, malpractice lawyers or what. But it is wrong and sinful to isolate these dying souls in the memory units.
For now, you will not be able to see your father in person. Be creative in finding ways to communicate your love. Try "window visits" where your loved one is next to a first floor window and you talk on the phone while seeing each other. Ask the facility if they can set up online meetings so you can talk and see each other. Send letters and pictures.
When all people are either positive for the antibodies or have been vaccinated, then we will be able to see each other in person again.