My 90-year-old mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 2 years ago. I am the only child, so when I leave town I would arrange for respite stay for her at a nice nursing home. She is an intelligent, physical fit person. I have managed to keep her in her own home by spending a lot of time with her and hiring a retired nurse who comes in 3 hours once a week. But it has been exhausting and often times there have been arguments between us. For the last year she had been gradually going down hill.
This recent respite stay the nursing home reported that she began to wander. They placed her on 30 minute watch, and then an ankle monitor which she has removed twice. The NH said she needed to go to a memory unit because they can't manage her wandering safely. The unit which they are associated with doesn't have availability, so the solution was for me to hire 1 to 1 care 12 hours a day from an outside agency. I have done as they have asked.
This has occurred in the last week and I keep having such range of feelings about this. If feel relief because I am not doing this alone, but I have huge guilt because I am second guessing if this is the right decision. I scheduled a separate appointment with her GP, but he wouldn't advise as what to do. His view is that her problem is something which he can't medicate, so it's not his problem. My mom doesn't know that I am back in town because she will want to go home. I have called her and she asks me when I am going to be home. I was willing to have her stay at the NH because she has made friends and has a better social life than I alone can provide. But I am concerned that having her in a memory unit will sacrifice her safety over the socialization and comradity she has made at the NH. I am very conflicted about doing the right thing for me mom. Any insight would be very appreciated.