Our mom, 90, had a stroke July 1. Previously, had been dxed with mild cog. decline, had been in Ind. Living. SIL took over finances, I took over meds, dr visits and other clinical interface. Since stroke, Vascular dementia and Alz has been dxed; she broke a hip in dementia unit; now in rehab, about to run out of Medicare days; several years of financial resources to pay for care, thank goodness and my dad. Mom is in facility 15 minutes away from one brother and SIL; he is POA,she is the financial guru, and frankly, the person in the family who likes mom. Youngest brother is 5 hours away, visits 1X per month. I am designated medical liason with facility, I am satisfied with care mom is getting. SIL visits every evening, sends me an email each AM about what mom is complaining about, ie, headache, vaginal discomfort, etc, etc, etc. Should we visit mom less so she complains to staff more (sil thinks she is saving up complalints for pm visits). How do we approach this? I live 2 hours away; I"m starting to dread SIL's emails each morning and spend much time on the phone wach day with facility trying to fix what ultimately can't be fixed. You folks have given me SUCH great advice since the beginning of my distance caregiving journey..hoping for a bit more!