How do I approach mom about urinating on the toilet seat?

Yes, I am dealing with this.
My mom leaves puddles of urine about a foot away from the toilet. I think she forgets to wipe and then stands up and turns around to flush the toilet. When doing this she is dripping urine on the floor.
Today mom once again got feces all over the toilet roll holder, the seat covers, the toilet handle and she wasn't washing her hands after going.
I have started going in immediately after my mother flushes and to see what the conditions are. I remind her to wash her hands every time. Sometimes she will fib and say that she has washed them but the soap isn't wet so I have her wash again.
Think about all the places that your mother touches after going to the bathroom and not washing her hands. Light switches, stair railings, etc. Those are the things that will need to be cleaned after each use. We found it was easier to make sure she washes her hands afterward.
We also keep lysol popup wipes in each of the bathrooms and use them after each use when we notice dripping.
It is a big blah.....

I have a big bottle of that hand sanitizer sitting on the tub next to the toilet. I now have Mom in the habit of using that on her hands since she often just "forgot" or didn't want to stand at the sink and wash her hands. It's been working great ! I have a towel on her walker and she'll use that to "dry" her hands after using the sanitizer.

Very difficult, and unfortunately not one you can leave alone.

Can you use her knee pain as the excuse to go with her? "To make sure she doesn't get stuck" kind of thing? Also, I'm not quite sure how it started happening, but at some point I found that I was washing my hands at the same time as my mother did which led naturally to giving hers an extra going over too. The idea of coming from the bathroom to the dining table without clean hands brought me out in a cold sweat: I'm not sure I even asked her permission!

Is the seat the right height for her? When we had my mother's bathroom installed, we got a loo with a "comfort height" seat to it, to avoid having to get one of those plastic things that clip on (though I expect the good versions are useful, too). Sitting on it yourself is a slightly disconcerting experience, but I know it's been really helpful for my mother.

If standing at the sink to wash is hard work for her, get a perching stool. But then you really will have to accompany her to the bathroom because it'll need moving to and fro, and tripping over it could be a falls risk.

Sigh. One solution, two more problems. There's no winning...

A drop or two of urine--count your lucky stars that's it!! It can get a lot worse. Anyway, this is a health issue, a physical/body issue, and not something to be embarrassed about. (If your mom goes the path that many do, things will get a lot worse). Just bring it up and ask her to be careful. She may be able to remember and take care, but maybe not. Just keep some sanitizing wipes in the bathroom for you/anyone else to use. If you act all silly and embarrassed about it, that will make it embarrassing for her! Just address it as any normal physical aspect of aging. If you can, try to find out what's causing it and if there's a way it can be easily addressed (i.e. a more elevated seat).

Some older women experience urgency and just can't sit down before the urine starts to leak. One look at the toilet and they start to dribble. Going on a regular basis can help some rather than waiting till they feel the urge.
You can mention it to her and she may remember to wipe the seat but it sounds to be part of a bigger problem if she also gets poop everywhere. I think you just have to go in with or after her each time. if you have poop on your hands you really do need to use soap and water sanitizer is not enough. If she gets out before you catch her take her back and make her wash and use disinfectant wipes on everything she may have touched. Do this routinely after she goes to bed anyway. She will lie this is simply reverting to childlike behavior or regression - it happens! Would it be possible to make one of the bathrooms for her use only? If there is one up and one down everyone can use the up one and give Mom a bedside commode for the night. She sounds as though she can still understand an explanation so you can explain it to her. As far as getting on and off the toilet a raised toilet is a good idea but she still has to raise herself so I would suggest one of the frames that goes over the toilet and screws under the seat so it is very stable. The plastic raised seats don't seem very secure. The frame will give her two arms to raise herself on. One grab bar is rarely enough. It takes two hands to get up - personal experience!

My husband never wanted one of those raised seats even tho he needed one. He used to work in people's houses and said they were too unsanitary, too hard to get the stains out of. I found a toilet raiser you just put under the whole toilet called a toilevator. It raises it up about 3 inches. So you can just sit on your regular toilet seat and clean it normally. Also use the grab bars with it.

Toilevator! I'll remember that!!!

i wouldnt ask her in advance. id just pee on the seat and blame the cat.