I am 88 years old with a diagnosis of dementia.

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You are very wise to ask this question now, at a time when you are still able to express your wishes and intentions.

People who outlive their trusted friends and family members have several options when considering who to designate as a surrogate (a person who steps into your shoes and manages your finances). Here are 3:

1 - You can establish a Trust that is managed by a financial institution. Banks and trust companies in your state may have a minimum account size, but if the value of your assets are high enough, and the trust company accepts your account, a trust officer would be responsible to manage your income and expense payments.

2 - In my state (Massachusetts) the state has provided funds to local charitable agencies, such as Jewish Family Services, and they provide social workers and attorneys who manage Probate Conservatorship accounts and Guardianships services for people who have no close family members, or people who are caught in the middle of family conflicts.

3 - Your state may have Pooled Trust account services available from a charitable organization that administers funds for people who are unable to manage their own funds. However, the charitable agency will probably require authority from your state's Probate Court in order to step up and serve your needs.

Talk with an elder law attorney in your area as soon as possible. Your local senior center or elder services agency can help you find an attorney to help.
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If there is an IKOR office in your area They do Geriatric Care Management and Daily Money Management acting as POA. The website for A Geriatric Care Manager aka Aging Life Care Professionals has a listing for all areas of the US Geriatric Care Managers handle the Care and routine living concerns. A Daily Money Manager will handle financial area their website also has listing of people who will act as Financial POA. I recommend IKOR because IKOR handles both areas medical, care related and routine financial area.

Just so you know I think you are a rockstar. 88 years old navigating dementia, searching the Internet and calling the shots in your life. It's really awesome that you are accepting the diagnosis, understanding it and calling the shots. I admire you. I own an IKOR office in Pittsburgh and I adore clients like you. I can tell that you will get the help you need. You're on the right track. You're in my prayers.
Helpful Answer (8)

Hi kitty, bless you. I am alone too, and there's a post I copied and saved this summer because I found it so useful! Posting there, attributing the member ruthieruth - hope some of it will be useful to you.

Time to plan the endgame...
ruthieruth on
July 2016

I am in a similar situation. I don't have Alz but have memory issues and lots and lots of physical disabilities. What I did is made a Will and Advanced Directive and an Alzhiemer advanced directive...even if it's not "legal" in my state, it covers a lot of the "wants" and I attached it to my advanced directive that is legal. It lets my wishes be known. I also completed the Compassion and Choices paperwork in a way that suits my preferences, regarding Right to Die. I think, whether Pro or Con, it's important to state MY WISHES, because sometimes doctors get funky and try to play God with insurance, and dole out care based on what they think is covered, VS what is actually covered, and what a person wants. So i got very specific and wrote it down. I also made a video explaining everything.
I made a different video for my caregivers..This is how i like my hair brushed, This is what i like to eat. Like a series of training videos.
These are the topics i covered:
Food and diet
Medications (I take this one with food. I know the doc said this, I do it like this....)
Clothes and Laundry
Passwords and Financial Accounts (I also dictated permission to my bank to let the person who is pay on death have permission to close the account even if some of the paperwork was not exactly correct...etc. Don't know if this will work, but i explained it.I have filled out a financial POA....)
I did a video of explaining what i do for fun, a bit of my family history,
etc..all of the things a person would need to know to care for me is on video.
What kind of toothpaste i use....etc etc etc.
mentioned the video in my ADvanced directives.
I also made a video that explained, for instance, when my friend had a stroke and needed a feeding tube, I don't want that. that i am OK with this treatment in this situation many as i can think of, and my reasons why.
It might sound kind of creepy, and I didn't do it all at once, but once i got it done, i felt really at peace, like I could stay in the present minute and not worry too much about the future.
I also sold a LOT of my stuff. Took pictures of it, but simplified. Saves on caregiving costs.
in terms of the actual person to name on the DPOA, i started hanging out on some of these websites where young millennials hang out and watched for the smart ones, that I basicaily agreed with, who don't back down easy, and are good advocates. Finally asked one or two of them to be a final advocate for me, and to watch my videos. Introduced these people to my friends, and doctors, had them fingerprinted, and referenced. I mean, what the heck. Didn't know my first grade teacher either. Leap of faith.
I talk to my doctors A LOT.
And yes, my attorney.
Hope I go in my sleep, quietly and peacefully, like my grandpa did. Not kicking and screaming like the folks in the backseat of his car......:) good luck to you.
Helpful Answer (5)

Kitty, I understand fully your situation. I have no siblings thus no nieces nor nephews, and I have no children. I am close to some cousins but they are senior citizens themselves, and also have no children.

Right now my sig other is my financial Power of Attorney. If something should ever happen to him, then there is a CPA who has a small firm, so I would elect him to be my financial POA or anyone in his firm. Of course, payment would be made out of the estate for time used.
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Brandy, there must be some type of resources there. Is moving to a more populated place an option? Check your Area Agency on Aging. These offices are on a regional basis. It may be in your county or a neighboring one. Often they are in offices with the Council of Governments. Asking your attorney is also a very good idea. Often, they get quite expensive and should you get to the point of needing care it would add up fast.

Have you looked to see what sort of senior care living options are available?
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IKOR, shame on you for direct advertising.

Of course you recommend IKOR - that's your screen name and most likely you work there. Who do you think you're fooling?

I've reported your post.
Helpful Answer (4)

Garden Artist. I was not advertising. I was offering viable solutions that would save time and energy. My intentions were to offer resources. I offered three comprehensive information including websites on solutions that most people are not aware exist in this area. Aging Life Care Professionals and Daily Money Management is not well known to many. They have websites with listing of those who can support her in her location. I have no idea where this person is located and I am certain it's not where I operate. It is likely that IKOR does not have an office where she is located. This person needs assistance and I provided a comprehensive list and how to access the services she requested that were not mentioned by other posting on the thread. Most people appreciate having professional insight on their situation, not just from those who are navigating a complex situation themselves. If you check my history I often respond and do not mention my affiliation but in this instance it felt pertinent to the discussion because most people were offering general solutions. I offered specific solutions that would save time from jumping through hoops with the county area on aging and with attorneys that are usually only generally aware of some of these options. I will receive no personal benefit from offering any of the solutions I offered.
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I'm sorry for your diagnosis, it has to be scary wondering what's ahead for you. POA does not have to be family. You may have a trusted friend, a financial advisor, or if you have someone do your taxes, you could ask them. You say you do not have family, do you mean to say that there are no cousins or nieces or nephews even? If so, one of them might be willing to serve in that capacity for you. Please let us know how you are doing, for as long as you can. Bless you.
Helpful Answer (3)

I am likely going to be in this same position some day. My first move would be to ask my attorney if my close friend is no longer able and my husband gone. The county you live in usually has an agency on aging that could possibly help direct you. I wish you the best of luck and many good years still. {{Hugs}}, Katie.
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I live in California - each state may be different - but I 1st of all have a Revocable Living Trust into which I titled all of my assets. Currently I am the Trustee. When/if I am no longer able to handle my affairs or am deceased I have a professional fiduciary who will become my successor trustee. She is a member of PFAC (Professional Fiduciaries Association of California). They are licensed and bonded. I also have caregivers for my pets named. She also has my medical POA if I become unable to do it my self. I have no family that I would trust with any of this - and it is also a huge responsibility that a lot of people would not want. My fiduciary will be paid from the trust funds. By having the caregivers named (whether for me or for my pets) they can go to my lawyer - or court if necessary - if the fiduciary is not doing her job and request a change to another PFAC fiduciary. I feel it is the safest way to have my wishes carried out (I also have everything spelled out in trust documents as to my care, pets care, disposal of assets, etc. so there is no doubt on anyone's part what I want) Beware of having a bank do this as they will not manage your care just your assets.
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