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I appreciate your comments. Problem is we don't know what bank evil sil has transferred the money to. Also we still don't have an address. Because there was a sibling conflict when sil had my husband's name taken off POA and bank account the credit union sent an officer to their previous residence. From what we understand the officer thought mil looked competent so he reported that she seemed happy and lucid. My husband did go back to the credit union but was informed that because mil authorized and declared evil sil as the current POA there was nothing they could do. Besides we know that sil accused both my husband and I of stealing previously stealing from mil (sil seems to get a lot of mileage out of lying) so I'm sure there is a red flag thrown up when he calls or shows up. Mil looks like she has dementia so she had to be coached by sil but we are wondering why the bank rep didn't think it was suspicious. Again we are hitting brick walls at every turn. We've also heard that the police just look at situations like this as family disputes.
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DEFINITELY CALL THE POLICE NOW!!!
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agree with debralee because as i recall, your husband has financial poa not sil. get all the records copies etc that you can get your hands on. most attorneys are not going to get involved as there isn't any money in it for them...if your sil were a corporation then attorneys might consider. also contact aging and adult services to tell them what is going on and listen to what they suggest.

also if your husband has poa and has documents proving that you should be able to go to the bank to explain you did not authorize this transfer of funds...and the bank might be able to freeze sil's account and return the money to his mother...

also as poa husband might be able to acquire the mother's address via the bank
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You should get an attorney it sounds like his mother may have been mislead into signing another POA. You may also want to have someone look into the well being of his mother and that his sister is not abusing his mother verbally or financially. Adult protection services.
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If you can find out if that money is in an account with your SIL name only then you have a ligitimate reason to file a Financial Elder Abuse Report with Adult protective services.
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Ok I told you I would keep all of you posted on my evil sil. We just found out today that she has transferred all of mil's money into another account probably in sil's name. Ultimate nightmare.
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ip address; call best buy or other computer store and ask to start...don't know how one finds the ip address i only know, from what i have heard, the it identifies the user/computer
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I will show this to my husband. Any ray of hope is helpful.
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Through my experience, I have learned that if, in fact, your mother had given your husband POA prior to her becoming ill, his legal instrument remains valid based on his mother's incompetency. If she was already diagnosed with dementia, etc. during the period your sister-in-law coerced your mother-in-law to change her agent to herself, all you need to do is have your husband obtain a medical statement from her physician (or last known physician while under his care) and seek assistance from authorities (report his sister to the Adult Protective Services) and they will locate her. You'll have to be certain that this is what the situation is and be prepared to lose a sister-in-law if the case may be...
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Wow! Thanks for your thoughts. We are considering all possibilities. I'll keep all of you posted. We had the loving members of our family over today. I just looked at all of us.; my husband, my beautiful mom, my sister and brother-in-law, our daughters and their husbands with our incredible grandchildren. Today we didn't think about Sil. We just reveled in our blessings.
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Be so VERY careful when dealing with social security and changing addresses. I believe you have to acknowledge that YOU are the person with the SS number. I ended up knowing where my mom was due to my bro smarting up. If sis or sil has Power of attorney and mom has been put into a facility, she can deny any visits, phone calls or i fo concerning mom. Good luck. Maybe reporting her as missing might be the best way to go. BLESSINGS!
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Your husband should have her social security # and previous address go online to their site and act like she wants to change her address.
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Ok, but where do you find someone's IP address in an email or FB posting? Keeping in mind of course that this is likely to be inaccurate. Didn't work for me.
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Another thought is that the Medicare and SSA offices have more information about where their checks are going to, but getting that legally shared with you is another matter. Given enough information, which under normal circumstances you do if and only if it is appropriate for you to have, you can get into those things via the offical websites online.
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IP address may not be totally precise, but gives a good idea of location. According to whatismyipaddress, "This information should not be used for emergency purposes, trying to find someone's exact physical address, or other purposes that would require 100% accuracy. Please read about geolocation accuracy for more information." A little more info and maybe the services of a private detective could get you a lot more information, but you may still need the eldercare abuse hotline and/or eldercare attorney to take care of the legalities once you have more evidence in your favor.
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word is good cause so you make a good cause report and report it to the district attorney but i realize you are taking a loved one anywhere...geeeze what am i thinking. therefore, you could report your mother missing...talk to the police; talk to the district attorney on monday
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here is the reason i suggest going to the police and talking to them...i can't think of the word at the moment but here is the story
if a woman is abused and she wants to leave her abusive partner/husband and intends to take her child with her. ... to avoid be charged with kidnapping she is instructed to notify the police that she is leaving and taking the child (laws may prevent her from going out of state)...in short you are notfying authorities that you are "taking" not kidnapping the child. This is suggested to our clients where we work with domestic violence...
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Try the post office where your mil lived they should have forwarding address ,also call her physicians tell them what your sil did hopefully they can tell your husband the address and how her health is holding up. Good luck.
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You might (pretend) to make an offer to help pay for some of your mother-in-law's care. I have a feeling dear sister-in-law will divulge their whereabouts ASAP!
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Oh Thank God, someone KNOWS! YAY Ferris1!!!! Thank you!
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I have already experienced four siblings who tried to keep me away from our dying mother, so no, nothing surprises me about family members. Yes you can legally do something about trying to find your husband's mother. Call the police, say he has a POA, she has been removed from the state (or wherever you think daughter has her), then call adult protective services, file in Probate Court for guardianship and let the judge appoint an investigator for your mother-in-law's best interest. You could hire a private detective, attorney, etc. and go to her bank with the POA and ask to see a record of where money has been spent. Maybe there will be a rent check for some apartment. Good luck!
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I would contact the Elder Abuse Hotline first. They may not be very helpful, but at least you have a documented report. Also consult an elder affairs attorney, and although you may have to pay up front to get started, having a guardianship designated on his/her behalf would be paid from the estate. It sounds as though your husband would be proven a much better choice for guardianship.
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If you know where your mIL gets her prescriptions filled you might ask them for her current address or phone number. I know there are privacy issues involved but if you or your husband have previously picked them up for her they may give you that info. You could make up a story about your mil calling her Dr's and friends stating that she has a new address because she moved. Tell them you are touching base with everyone involved in her healthcare to make sure they have the correct contact information. Tell them her previous address (you should know the address where she resided before your sister moved her) and they MIGHT tell you what address they have on file for her now. I know this is probably illegal for them to do but keep in mind that not all Employees follow the rules. Some would think they are being helpful to you. A detective would try this to get info so you can try it for yourself. Try her hairdresser, church, friends, somebody has to know where she is.
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I agree with Momhouseme. When. Y mom at rates slipping and she wanted to change something in her trust the lawyer insisted on speaking to her alone. If she didn't underst and or couldn't ask exactly what she wanted the lawyer would not touch the change. How do you know your Mom in law actually changed her POA. Have you seen the papers? Maybe your hubby is still POA. That is something you need to find out.
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does the ip address on a computer give the computer location or the owner/user of the computer? just a thought.
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i already commented but wanted to add; know one yet knows if this will turn legal etc etc but if your mom has been diagnosed with dementia/alzheimer's and you have it in writing from a phyician, then a lawyer who changed the poa could be held accountable...mom and i saw a lawyer and mom was pretty with it at the time but he would not update her trust because she didn't understand what was going on in that regard...some lawyers will do anything for money...first and foremost is of course finding MIL. Even if she is being well taken care of, there is no excuse on this planet for holding her hostage...do not reveal any of your information or give her any threats (to call the police) on line....anything you write can and will be used against you if a fight ensues...but do take action just dont let the sister know...please let us know if you find MIL...
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woah. this is awful. can you call the police and ask about reporting his mother missing...given that the sister took mom i suggest talking to the police first because mom isn't really missing per se...but this is a crime I am sure...also please check what is elder abuse, and isolating his mom and holding her hostage is elder abuse...it is trust me. go to the police first, and if they cannot assist you go to adult protective services...this is abuse. Hire a private detective? although I don't know what the detective has to go on if sister just disappeared with mom.

I have heard horrible stories about families and I am shocked by what I have heard...people do things that I would never even have thought to do...boy are we naive. detective might need/can use sister or mom's sS #--if you know the bank name they might be able to locate via the bank (perhaps you can do this)...are
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Missymay, Take screenshots of everything your SiL puts online, EVERYTHING. You do know how to do that right? Be sure to screenshot the WHOLE screen so you have the time/date that's in the bottom right corner of your computer. Then save them in a folder in your computer. And it's probably in your best interest not to respond to her because she can take screenshots as well.
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Thank you for that information Yogi, I had assumed the addresses came from the post office and change of address cards sent in to them. Because I did not change the address with DMV for a couple years, but I had changed the address everywhere else. OH WAIT, I know, the addresses come from when you buy things online! Or anything you fill out online that need a street address. I started shopping online because my son and family lives out of state, and well, it's just easier now.

So anyways will a private detective to find the mom, get info on the SiL, and then filing for guardianship be the only answer?
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Thanks to all of you. This is so stressful but we are still praying there is a solution to this. Seems a shame that the perpetrators are getting the upper hand at the expense of our elderly parents. Sil also is attacking my husband on facebook. Dangerous woman!
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