Dad turned 80, living with me. its OK, but he has mostly his own space. We are all trying to develop space but it gets hard at times. I have noticed he is starting to "embellish" or just plain make stuff up. I can talk around the house or he tells the family or who ever will listen. His friend calls every night at 10 which is great, they need each other to talk to but I hear the conversations and he says everything that goes on in the house. He used to play hard of hearing until I stopped repeating my self, he hears just fine, in fact he hears things I things he cant hear. I took his truck over since he had 2 cars, he said "he gave it to me", I pay the repairs the insurance the registration etc. I hardly drive it as I have another truck. He drives it when he needs to. I added a plow to it and he refers to everyone else 'his truck" but in front of me "your truck". OK i let that one. The family had a big birthday party a few weeks ago. Great. On his actual birthday I took him to my friends house to watch the game and took him a cake. Now he tells everyone my friend threw him a birthday party...... Then I took him out to dinner.
Last night my elderly neighbor fell and I was called to help pick him up. Dad says to my wife that "I must have gotten the need to help people from him", Frankly I don't remember my dad doing that kind of stuff. He helped friends a lot in my growing up as I do too but really (I take care of their yard, snow removal repairs around the house).
Driving him somewhere he tells stories of this famous person or that...... If there is something on the news it is almost like living with Brian Williams.... My brother does the same thing and has always done it. I took it as narcissism. But dad seems to do the same thing. Blows little tid-bits in to huge things."Well this person was the son of an oil tycoon and lived next door, or that person was a famous King of someplace and was just a regular guy". Come on..... I remember where I grew up, not too many famous people there. I am so sensitive to it now I don't even talk with anyone anymore about anything as I as I am so afraid that I will sound like him. He will be in front of my friends and start a story and I say "I don't remember that or I don't recall that. Frustrating.
Undoubtedly his life is very tiny. He embellishes in an attempt to stay relevant and interesting. Just let it go.
I still laugh when I remember my sis-in-law's mom going on and on with me about how she and her husband used to live in Chappiquicik and knew Teddy.Kennedy and family. I sat there enraptured with her story. Very believable...they'd lived out east and were wealthy. A little while later, I caught my SIL alone and said, "Wow, I didn't know your parents knew the Kennedys!" "WHAT?? Oh, Lord, is she telling THAT one again??" Cute as a bug's ear, she was. Ha!
It is just hard, the stories get bigger and better......We didn't have much growing up and my parent shad much, much less.
I am trying to find him things to keep him busy, he is pretty much unwilling unless someone invites him.
Sorry, it is not cute when it is a bout me. I have a standing rule, when we are with my friends 'no stories about me as a kid". We all did stuff as kids, I just don't want them to hear it from him...
***Confabulating and Confabulations ***
In psychology, confabulation (verb: confabulate) is a memory disturbance, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.
Key factors in confabulations are there is no intent to deceive, second the person being unaware that the information is blatantly false. Confabulating is distinct from lying because there is no intent to deceive, and the person being unaware that the information is blatantly false.
Carers challenge: is what they say true? Confabulations become a far greater concern in the later stages, because confabulations are much more likely to be acted upon.
It is difficult for everyone to accept a mind is damaged.
Not only is memory damaged their ability to process thoughts and conversations is impaired.
Confabulations are a major annoyance and can be dangerous- when we the take everything in a discussion at face value. Confabulating is very frequently observed in people with Alzheimer's.