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Grama woke up visibly distraught today and told us about her dream. Tried assuring her that a death dream just means change and that she's experienced a boat load of it in the last 9 months. She raised and eyebrow and said " Do you believe that stuff? " Heck yeah I do!

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I have studied death and dying at length. Dr. Raymond Moody, my mentor and "the father of the near death experience" says that often times dreams give us messages that we can't accept in our waking state. My grandmother, near the end of her live was on opium for pain. She had visions. One was of Jesus walking half way across a wide river which had jeweled rushing water. She asked her pastor to go half way with her. He told her it was her journey and that nobody could go but her. She died within the week. I have a lot more information on this, but not enough time or space to write.
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My great grandmother swore she saw Jesus at the foot of her bed before her husbands passed.. all three of them. She had some indian blood, and was full of "interesting" stories ( creepy ones). But this she swore by, so who knows?
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This is a story my mother told me. I am not sure if she still remembers it but for her it was still clear as a bell when she told me some years ago.
To understand some of the particulars, my mom was raised primarily by relatives, as her mom was unreliable, both in Great Neck and in Rhode Island. I don't know how old she was at the time of the incident, but I think she was around 11 or so. This occurred during the time she was in Great Neck. Several of her uncles and cousins also lived in the same house. (I am foggy on details.) A few of them worked for the times as reporters and in other capacities. Anyway, one of the uncles had bought a pair of slippers for another of the cousins or uncles for Christmas, but the intended recipient died before Christmas. Yet another uncle appropriated the slippers since 'uncle joe' wasn't going to be needing them anymore.
Fast forward to a few days after Christmas. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. The appropriating uncle (one of the ones who worked at the Times) came downstairs laughing fit to kill himself. When asked the humor "hahaha, Uncle Joe came to me in a dream and said he was returning for his slippers on January 19." He took a flat pencil (to keep them from rolling off desks), circled the date and said 'let's just see if he comes back for them."
The appropriating uncle died in the wee hours of January 19. Made quite the impression.
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I think dreams in an elderly person are a way of trying to make it easy to go across. In one period in my life I had an unusually large load of issues in more than area. Health and financial mainly. People usually dream at night all the time and in the middle of dreaming, suddenly I was trying to cross over to something because I saw my mother and other family members but a female (don't know who but was a familiar feeling) said "but it's not time yet, you need to go back and all I remember saying was why". I woke up and thought "ok no more spaghetti that late in the evening anymore. So weird! I think the mind has a way of helping you deal with the issues and getting rid of those you can't deal with. It's been 20+ years since then and I've never had that dream since. My health and financial issues have gotten better and I'm now much more relaxed, especially since I retired. Let the dreams come and treat them as they are-just a dream trying to cope with your issues of the day and move on. Each of these comments sound perfectly legitimate and the people involved didn't sound like they were having delusions in any way. We all deal with stress in our own way and I think that my dream was my way of dealing with it. 90% of what I read about death and people having dreams has been that it's been very accepting and death shouldn't be feared at all. It will come to all eventually and we will see our families again one day so just live your life one day at a time.
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Back when my dad died my mom was troubled by dreams of drowning. It seemed obvious to me she was feeling afraid, overwhelmed and a loss of control and her dreams were reflecting that. We talked about those feelings and tried to implement things to help her feel safer and more in control and the dreams gradually faded away.
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I work in hospice care. We experience a number of patients who have dreams about "travelling" just shortly before their deaths, so things like this aren't unheard of. Many also dream about seeing deceased relatives, or actually "see" deceased relatives in their room before dying. But, many people dream of travel who aren't dying. Maybe rather than you trying to interpret her dream, talk with her about what upset her in the dream.....her fear of dying....etc?? Just a thought......
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Heck, I have had dreams of dying, and I don't have dementia. Dreams are soon forgotten and are just a way of the brain sorting things out and perhaps foretelling the future, if you believe in that...
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My mil had a dream a couple of years ago that she was standing at a creek and her two sisters who had passed were motioning for her to come across. But she didn't. That might have been around the time that she had those clots in her lungs and almost did die. She's still here, though she wishes she had died then. Her sister had a similar dream not long before she died. She was standing at the Jordan River, and across from the river she could see their mom, their sister who had died a long time ago and one brother, motioning for her to come across. She died not long after that dream.

My grandmother (dad's mom) saw my aunt (her daughter) and my dad before she died. They had died 19 years and 10 years before she did. She started seeing them and talking to them maybe two weeks before she died. So it just depends on the person. I think in my mil's case she is preoccupied with death, having lost so many loved ones, that she wants to die too. I can't judge. She lost three children. That would devastate even the most heartless person on the planet I would think.
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My mom had a dream once that gave me chills. It was before I moved them from their home and before mom had a TIA..her condition was VERY fragile during that time...with spiking high BP....and caring for my dad with dementia.

She had a dream she was walking on a beautiful green hill. She was joined by several deceased relatives including her Mom,Dad,brothers. She said she felt very good and peacefull. Suddenly she looked up and could see them but they were no longer close to her...they were all off in the distance..then they disappeared.

When she told me that I wondered if she came close to death at that time. That was over a year ago and she is still with us and doing much better healthwise.
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I guess depending on how a person is, some can feel the presence of others either shortly after they have passed or later. no one can explain why some get these "tuitions/insights or whatever you want to call it" and why others don't. there are questions that none of us know the answers to while we are here in the flesh. I love having dreams every night, its an adventure even if some are not good. I guess you just have to re-assure your loved one that all will be okay in the end. good luck
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My Mom's sister died when my Mom was in nursing care. The night it happened my mom phoned me and said that she had bad dreams and wanted to know if it was true. I said if what was true cause I hadn't even told her yet. Her sister had said to her in her dream "don't worry, I'm not in pain" So yes, I believe dreams are sometimes predictors of things to happen or that are going to happen. For sure.
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