Anyone with Dementia/Alzheimer's experience like this?

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For those of you that have read my other posts you know about my sister.
So I went to see Mom yesterday and she was in the best mood I have seen. Happy talking about finding pictures she had packed away (The pics I had brought her from home and put on her shelves) How she had made her bed (the housekeeper at the nursing home made it) and how she needed to organize her closet. How nice all the people are there etc. etc. Then my sister called. They only talked for maybe half a minute, Mom tried to put me on the phone with her and I explained No, we do not talk, and she let Mom go and said she would call back later. Talk about Jekyll and Hyde, after that Mom hates the nursing home, she hears it's NOT a good care center, They lie to me and she isn't getting her Therapy and she doesn't want to be there anymore. My sister didn't have time to put all of this in her head in a fifteen second conversation, I just do not understand. Anyone have anything similar to this happen?

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They lie because they generally want the control and power which means anything they can say to make themselves look good and discredit you is their goal. There is a similar issue on the Dysfunction thread. It is so sad and I sure hope that it all works out so you are not obligated to your sister other than keeping her informed. (((HUGS)))!!
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Thank you Sharyn. Both of my brothers are on my side so I believe it will go well. I just dont understand her need to lie and the lies are easily proved to be just that.
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cothrangirl3~I hope everything works out for your mothers well being. Let us know how the guardianship plays out.
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Court for guardianship is in a couple of weeks. I just read the visitor's report. He interviewed Mom and My "sister" and brothers. My sister out and out lied to him. Said I never keep any of them informed, that I have a controlling personality (ok ya that might be a bit true) and that (and this is the one that sent me through the roof) I don't see mom that often. HOW DARE SHE, I visit Mom 4x a week. I have cut back because from her surgery Aug. 5th until the first of october or so I was there every single day. She has been up her once for 2 hours since Mom's surgery. She has told the courts she would not mind Co-guardianship and wants consulted on all major decisions.
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Well my meeting with the attorney is tomorrow! And then Thursday Mom's stuff will be moved to storage, at least for the time being. Once I know where she will be permanently (assisted living or nursing home) then I can start whittling furniture etc. down and get a smaller unit. My sister is going to be livid that I did all of this without her, but I just do not care, no one needs to be going through her things at the moment, more important at this space in time is enjoying time with Mom, seeing what we can do to make MOM happy.
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The ethics are a bit dodgy, but I think you need to know exactly what your sister is saying to your mother. If her phone has a speakerphone function, that could be handy. The reason is that after your sister has done her tornado bit and wrecked your mother's peace of mind, you'll find it easier to reassure your mother if you know exactly what she's heard that you're then having to refute.

Difficult, because your mother is entitled to have a private conversation if she wants one; but since she is offering you the phone I'd be inclined to regard that as an invitation to be party to the call (and maybe cross my fingers behind my back). Also, although obviously you don't want to end up having a blazing row in front of your mother, if you'd heard what was said you could then correct your sister on the key misunderstandings and explain in words of one syllable how they were detrimental to your mother's contentment. And ideally you won't sign off with "oh go and [beep] yourself" - though that's always an option if you need to get it out of your system.
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We had to place our mother in memory care. My sis and I work together yo see that our mother is taken care of as well as taking her to Dr appointments. We sold her house a year later which the money went into our mother's financial accounts for her care. My sis, brother and I picked out what we wanted (items that were promised to us by our mother) and other odds and ends. Then we let grandchildren pick out what they wanted. Then we hired an estate liquidator to sell the rest. That mk wy also went into our mother's accounts as required by her Living Trust. It was heartbreaking to say good bye to our childhood home, but it was best that we deal with as we did instead of after our mother passes. This way, when the time comes, we can concentrate on the funeral our mother wants and then greive our loss of our last parent without worrying about the house and belongings. In themean time,.we are free to concentrate on our mother's care and the time we have left on making more memories.
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It's obviously not a good idea to allow Sis access to your mom's things, but you do need to think about what happens to them. Just letting them sit unattended is not a good idea, either; there could be an emergency at her place and things be damaged, or it could be broken into. We found when clearing my house and garage that some of the stuff we had stored had deteriorated, had insect and mouse damage, and a lot of things were no good to anybody any more. One thing about doing it now is that any proceeds should go straight to mom's bank account, rather than becoming a part of an eventual estate to be wrangled over. If there are valuable items that someone wants, either there should be an agreement that each sibling gets a similar allowance of things they want; the person that wants them buy them from Mom, or they get sold. And you need a trusted outsider of some sort to referee the whole thing. But letting them sit--or paying storage--is not good for anybody.
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No mom has a decent bank account. Sis just wants to go through her things
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Do you need money from your mom's stuff to take care of her? If she does, it might not be a bad idea to sell things, and keep a few items--keepsakes, and what she might need in AL.Get an appraisal from a dealer who will NOT be selling the stuff; when we cleaned out my folks' house, we let some stuff go too cheap because we didn't know the antique or vintage values. And if there is anything of value, put it on consignment with an auction house if there is one in your area.
Under the circumstances, it might be worth it to have a geriatric care manager take care of it. Professional geriatric care managers are bonded and know how to handle difficult relatives. Storage is only "kicking the can down the road", not to mention a pain in the neck and not cheap. When I sold my house last year, we threw, sold, or gave away most of the stuff, but our estate sale didn't sell much. I have a storage container in my lot at work, have been getting stuff out and dealing with it, and may be having to move it or ditch it again. I'm trying to deal with my stuff sooner rather than later, while I can get some benefit myself. The problem with storage is that stuff can deteriorate in storage, and eat up a lot of the value in storage charges.
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