Does anyone understand the Medicaid waiver program?

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My boyfriend's mom is on the waiver program. Currently she gets 28 hours of home care health and 14 hours of self determination weekly. She cannot be left by herself due to falls, dementia and incontinence issues. His father is also very I'll and has a bath aid once a week. We live with them and provide care 24 hours a day. We asked for an extra 2 hours a day and was told by the waiver program that we were not providing enough informal care. Does anyone know what informal care is and is there any way to appeal the decision?

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Cut all financial dealings with BF and his family. You are not going to recooperatr the money you put into their house. Sorry.
Reconsider if you want to spend your future with a man that will not listen to your opinion and makes these sorts of bad financial decisions. DO NOT drag your parents into this by taking their help.
Marriages end over money all the time. In laws lose respect for the husband that cannot take care of their little girl.
Walk away from BF family, have a frank conversation w BF and start to rebuild your life, your savings.
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Yes they gave him a W2 form. They did not pay in federal withholding, social security etc from 1996 to 2010 on any employees. They filed bankruptcy in 2012 but taxes are not discharged. During that process they improperly transferred assets to my boyfriend. The cpa and I both said the lawyer did not do things right but no one listened. His brother gave information to irs to put him on the hook for the debt. It's all ridiculous and no they don't go to casino anymore. And yes she hits all the time. My mom will help me and my boyfriend but not his parents. She's furious about the situation.
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she hit you? oh tacy - oh my - where is your boyfriend in all this but somewhat hate to say this (but otoh) may be time to bail on him too if he won't; will your mom help just you out but you saying his mom didn't pay in his taxes? did they give him a W-2? so they didn't pay or file their taxes and they've gotten caught up with? and so they still have a business? but obviously not working but they can go to the casino? hope Medicaid doesn't find out - wow
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The answer to all the questions is my boyfriend did not incur the tax debt. He was an employee of the parents business who had payroll taxes taken out of his checks. Those money's were not paid but given to casino instead. The rest of the idiots in the family created more problems. My mom and her partner said they would loan us money no interest to purchase property and fix everything under the condition we do not provide any financial support and bail from the situation. I have been called every name in the book today by his family and got hit by his mom. I'm completely done with all of this.
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my point, guestshop - they know how to look at all this stuff as just trying to get out of things - hate it, in a way - but why don't understand this whole situation anyway
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Tacy, please be careful about the "business loan" to the parents. If the IRS is already looking at the parents' finances and (maybe) your boyfriend - loans to clearly insolvent RELATED person/s that do not have a prayer of repayment from a closely related person's business are not necessarily treated as loans that you can simply write-off to the estate. Especially if the boyfriend's business is not usually in the habit of lending money! The IRS really looks at related-party transfers (especially if one of the parties was in trouble with taxes and other debt) with a gimlet eye to make sure that gifts are not being treated as loans and written off to estates that claim insolvency. Just a word of caution so that you don't have extra problems on the other side of the situation....
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can I ask how you thought you were going to get paid back if they weren't making the payments themselves in the first place but also I can somewhat see how you could think you would inherit the house with you taking care of them but even so with him having a brother unless you had that nailed down that was iffy too so....somewhat situation I have with my dad's house - and my own feelings - he did have his grandson move in with him to stay and help/take care of him - however, he was getting paid, something I'm sure not getting the idea you are, on top of everything else, while not only was he getting paid but he wasn't having to pay anything either, at least not any household expenses or bills besides the fact that dad's house didn't have a mortgage anyway, so all he had were his own expenses that he was getting paid for and yet he still thought he should inherit the house - and I'm having people tell me he should because you can never get paid enough - and he tried to get dad to sign it over to him then but he wouldn't ever do it - said he intended for me to have it - (he'd given him enough money - he wasn't getting paid then from dad's funds - he hardly had any left; he'd already given most of it to him - he was getting a VA pension, how he was getting paid - so why he wanted me to at least have the house) - but after he passed he won't get out even though he'd said he didn't want to stay there - and there's been even more money come in from somewhere else since that would have easily bought him a nicer/better house; I didn't know about the care for over 2 years thing part of the hardship clause in the MERP program - interesting, though not needed in the case of my friend with her mom, but good to know since her sister and her husband did basically what you and yours have done but since she was disabled it didn't matter anyway, just not sure if they continued to make the payments on the place after mom was placed, just know they were being made as long as mom was there, so not sure though if they'd availed themselves of that clause re the MERP or not, might be something to check into. But how did the IRS get involved already? you weren't already 1099ing them for bad debt since I'm getting the idea they weren't repaying you, right? was this EA doing their taxes or ya'll's/his/his business? so they were still paying or at least filing taxes? see, my dad wasn't - his only income(s) were nontaxable while hub's aunt and uncle were filing just not having to pay, just getting back what was being taken out of his taxable private pension. But what was the problem with brother giving the info to the IRS - is that what created a tax situation for them with the bad debt, in that sense, to you all already then? so now they already have a IRS lien? so now they can't pay you because they have to pay them? but could they pay you anyway since they hadn't been? guess that's the part not understanding or was really your thought to just get paid out of the house and now looks like IRS may put a lien on it? and you won't get your money back after all? did brother know any of this was going on - well, guess he knew about the - loan? - or wouldn't have had anything to tell - so, hm...did he just not care or did he, that he didn't want you getting the house - to go back to somewhat like my situation - we also, even though there was no mortgage - put out quite a bit of expense on dad's house, same thing, knowing I was supposed to get the house, were willing to do with the idea of getting it back out of it, but that doesn't matter to some, does it?
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We had thought we were going to get paid back or inherit the house since we have provided care for over 2 years which is one of the hardship clauses in the MERP program. When the IRS started wanting information about 2 and a half years ago I told the family do not give any information to IRS hire the EA who did the taxes to handle all dealings with IRS. We went out of town for my sisters wedding and his idiot brother who has a god complex gathered the information while we were gone and gave it to the IRS. After that, I went into damage control mode because I'm dealing with a bunch of morons. Sorry I'm venting, I'm just mad because if they would have listened to me this never would have happened but his family is old school and think that women can't comprehend things and that is not how I was raised.
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so was that your idea? because you didn't really expect to be paid back, did you?
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Also all the loans were from his business so when they die technically I can 1099 misc the estate for bad debt which would be taxable income for estate and another irs lein but it can be wrote off for him not me though
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