My 83 year old mother lives with me and my husband in our home. I’ve been taking care and learning about this very cruel Disease called: Alzheimer’s dementia. For the last 5 years I am mentally getting drained and it has been the most stressful, depressive experience of my life. Now she is needing 24/7 care and I am so exhausted and no longer have any zest for life left.
Time to place Mom. He care is going beyond what you can physically and mentally handle.
I just met with the RN last week, and the wait times for LTC is insane. In my community, 5-7 years. In my preferred community there is a new LTC home, and the wait list is 13 years…. Insanity…. However, we found a LTC home nearby that is only 3.5 years, so we’re thinking that will be our number one. We’re doing fine now, but I know a little of what you’re going through when considering 24/7 care. I think it’s time to acknowledge that it’s unsustainable. Time for LTC. Moving her there doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It just means that this is what she now needs to thrive. And really, that’s the most important thing.
How did it happen that you moved your mother in with you 5 years ago? (Is that when you moved her in?) What is her financial situation? Do you have siblings?
Are you ready to consider facility placement for her?
Alz is progressive, the care needs increase, so it follows that the help must increase too. Without this extra help, caregiver burnout will occur.
It is good you recognise this & are speaking up.
The usual advice is:
When informal supports (family, friends, neighbours) is no longer enough, formal supports are required: either hiring aides/services to visit the home or moving the elder to a facility with 24/7 care.