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Not at all Babalou - All of us tread a path that is difficult and stressful, mine is same, individual yes but not harder just a pain in the butt now and again
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Oh Jude, your life is infinitely harder than mine. I must sound like an ignorant prat here most of the time.
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That is definitely the best way babalou but in Mums case she won't go in to the doctors at all unless I am there - it seems to be a fear of being admitted into hospital - which is unfounded...but not to her. The trouble is that when the doc asks her a question she looks to me for the answer. Now in the case of her eyes I just don't know, so what I do is repeat the question for her using usually almost identical words but slower and pointing to things that I need to and then she will answer a little better. No choices like this one or this one, but can you see better with this one repeatedly until we get a sort of answer. Which is better this one or.. this one is useless yet the opthalmists just don't seem to get it at all - heaven forbid we get one who happens to be of far eastern origin - they grasp the issues even less and appear quite rude and although I KNOW that is down to their culture and their way of speaking it frightens Mum so we have to make sure of that. Then I deal with the 'racist' issue. No it isn't about race it's about the mode and tone of speech that is normal to them. So because I have said not its not about race we get a doctor with a strong accent and Mum says to me what did he/she say every time they speak (and that's on a good day...on a bad day she has been known to use the 'n' word, at which time I just didn't know where to put myself - luckily the doctor understood)

Hospitals are just a pure pain from start to finish. Oddly enough Mum has an Iranian consultant who smiles a lot at her and she loves him to pieces (but he is pretty special and so are his team or they don't stay on his team long) and despite having a strong accent she has no bother with him at all.
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I think the trick here, if there is one (and it does sound as though she should be seen to rule out other eye diseases like glaucoma, macular degeneration, etc), is to make sure the doctor understands before the fact (send a fax or a letter) that mom has dementia and doesn't always understand what is being asked of her. I would stay out of the fray. Let the doctor ask the questions. Let the doctor do the re-wording.

Back in the day when I was still taking my mom to doctors, the thing I would involve myself in was making sure that I understood what the doctor was telling us. "So you're saying that mom has the good kind of macular degeneration, and she should be seen in 6 months?".

By the time we would have left the office, mom would think she had the bad kind of macular degeneration, that she was going blind and that she had to come back in 6 days. I would have written down what the doctor said, and she would then believe what I was telling her.
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Oh and don't forget ...whatever the outcome it will be your fault - and if it results in her having her eyes restored? It will still be your fault that you didn't deal with it earlier - I think it's called a lose lose situation!!!!
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We ARE sisters Rainmom!
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OhJude - exactly, lol! "This one or this one..." Mom - "which one what"? Soon I'd be in the fray "no mom, he means which one is easier..." Mom- "stop yelling at me"! Me - " I'm not yelling. Just pick one"! Mom -
"You're always bossing me around!" On and on it would escalate until the doctor has left the room and mom and I are still in there arguing!
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Could you try a bit of sleuthing...print out something very simple in very large print on your computer and see if mom can read it to you. My mom still reads, but has no short-term memory. She goes through periods of not reading and I would wonder she's losing her comprehension or ability to read. My brother just sent a letter and I asked her to read it to me (as a test) and she did beautifully. So she can still read. Whether she can remember is another story, but she still loves to read and I still bring her books. I just look for short books now.

When I went to visit her in the evening (I'm usually there in the daytime) she was sitting under her little lamp (with a 3-way bulb) and it was only working on one setting. It broke my heart that my mom was sitting in a very gloomy room at night and didn't know/think to say anything to me. So I know how you feel. I replaced that bulb with a stronger 3-way bulb and I added a timer on a lamp she already had. It comes on automatically when it starts to get dark and it shuts off at 10 PM. It took several different ways of marking the lamp and switch, so that my mom didn't turn it off (not understanding it was on a timer). She kept thwarting my best efforts to keep her in the light. Ha!

I'd try a few simple "tests" before I'd try taking her to the eye doctor. I'd also call the eye doctor to see if he/she has worked with people with dementia, to see if they have ways of handling it.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes.
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When I first noticed mom wasnt reading anymore I thought it was probably a comprehension issue. I mean, how frustrating would that be - to pick up your book with the bookmark in the middle, yet you can't remeber what the book is about? As far as iPads and kindles go - mom can't remember how to use the phone these days let alone new technology! But as GardenArtist says - I would never forgive myself if I found out she could be filling her time with her beloved books and a stronger eyeglass rx was all that was needed - but I did nothing to help. Mom did get new glasses two or three years ago as part of trying to get her drivers licence back. I don't think it's "dry eye" - if anything her eyes can be a little weepy at times. Mom does have an excellent reading lamp - coincidently placed over her left shoulder. The lamp was what kind of brought this to a head. My brother went to visit and found mom pretty much sitting in the dark, thumbing through a magazine. My brother turned on the room light, opened the blinds but when he went to turn on the reading lamp the bulb was burned out. So basically mom was sitting in the dark trying to look at a magazine. Did she not notice it was dark? Why no attempt to turn on the room light and open the blinds - which are to a large sliding glass door next to the recliner where she sits? It all strikes me as more than needing new glasses. Mom is physically so fragile and taking her anywhere requires two people... But seems like an ophthalmologist is a good idea to check for other eye issues as well.
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Rainmom not only have I taken mum to the eye hospital she also had cataract surgery. Now in the UK surgery is starting to become age related now she is 93 they won't do any surgery that requires her to have a general anaesthetic unless it is life threatening but cataract surgery doesn't require that so no probe on that front. They didn't do any of the is this one better than that one - absolute waste of time asking Mum a question and expecting an answer.

Example Can you see better with a or b. Yes
Which is better this one or this one....this one
This one? No the other this one

We don't go there!

Mum had cataract surgery on one eye and now wears glasses to counteract the rest. She has tints to minimise headaches and we use daylight bulbs for brightness which are fabulous.

Do get her eye checked ..... things like wet or dry macular degeneration can be treated so get her there one way or another
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Another thought - placement of lighting. I've read it should generally be above the left shoulder. But there should be adequate lighting in the room, more than just a few 60 watt bulbs. And if you use those curlycued bulbs that are supposed to be long lasting energy savers (one lasted less than a year for me) be aware that they dim when first turned on and need to reach peak lighting in a matter of seconds before they're comfortable for reading.
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I would believe your mother when she says she's not able to read that well anymore. It could be cataracts, dry eye, or a deterioration in eyesight that's correctable with a different strength eyeglass prescription.

How long has it actually been since she's seen any eye doctor - optometrist or ophthalmologist? Even if it is difficult for her to distinguish between two objects that are seemingly close in size and clarify, she can be checked for eye pressure and any other issues that might not be seen without the special equipment used by ophthalmologists.

My father has low tension glaucoma, has had it for years. We go regularly for checkups, he uses Latanaprost, and thus far there's been no change in pressure. Had we not learned he had this years ago, the current situation might have been different. I would never forgive myself if the glaucoma had developed into something more serious. As it is now, it's very controllable.

Another issue to explore is dry eyes. My father has it, I have it, and sometimes my eyes become sensitive after being in dry areas, especially like heated cars in the winter, homes that are heated above 70 - 75 degrees, and especially hospitals or medical offices. I can usually guess that on my way home from a trip to Dad's, my right eye is going to become sensitive and teary from the dryness, especially during the winter.

Yet another possibility is periodic ophthalmic migraines, which I've had for over 30 years. My ophthalmologist said they're not unusual for people who are nearsighted. They appear like 1/2 of a bear trap, clawed, and multi colored flashing lights. Had I not seen her years ago when these started I would have been scared when they happened. If your mother has these, she would definitely have difficulty reading when they occur. And they could be frightening.

They're also aggravated by computer work; there's a definite correlation in my opinion.

So take your mother to an ophthalmologist, not an optometrist, even if she's not able to tell which of 2 choices of objects are clearer. At least raise the issue of dry eyes or cataracts and what might be shown by the high powered equipment that's available to see what we can't see with normal vision.


As to the magnifiers, I use them sometimes just to read the fine print on contracts and other documents that are difficult to read (such as consumer contracts). I have one I bought years ago to read surveys and title work; the glass is about 4" in diameter and is still very useful.

I've seen the ones you refer to; I don't know how well they would be for reading books because eye flow is a part of comfortable reading, and if the magnifier has to be moved from paragraph to paragraph, it could become a nuisance. But the kind you refer to might be better. And if it magnifies a whole page, that would be much, much better.
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I bought my mother an iPad to read books. You can adjust the type size, and she loved being able to read again.
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Rain, it may be that your mom's comprehension of what she reads is no longer " there".

Yes, try large print texts. There are also magnifiers that are the size of a page, like 9x11.
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