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For the last 3 years. Both parents dementia. One lost sight other can't hear anything. Dad passed a year ago. Trying to keep mom in her home with 24/7 care. I go in 3 times a week no matter what. Groceries doc appt hair appt clean house give breaks and take mom out for car rides. Sister has a life. Once a week for her. Issues with new caregiver. We just class. Everything going on seems to have an answer to it, but my instinct are up. Now it actually looks like I'm the mean, crazy one. Bed was made neatly. I smelt something. Pulled back blankets and bed was wet. Caregiver said mom made the bed. How can mom stand and make a neat bed, when she can't even put her own clothes on? I am so done with this and really want out of it. But there is no one to take over.

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I don't know if agency called andtold her about bed. But she had an answer and said I was looking for things. If I wouldn't of found that would my mom be in a wet bed?
Thank you all for your kindness.
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Thank you.
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I hear you, my friend. I know its very tough. You are doing a lot to support your mom. It does become overwhelming and exhausting, even the most patient person will lose their temper. I know I did. I let the anger and resentment of caring for my dad compromise my judgement towards the last year of his life. It sounds like you are at the breaking point and need respite.

Its hard when the sibling are not supportive. And this caregiver doesn't sounds like they are doing a good job for your mom, if they let her have a soiled bed. I would consider talking with a social worker, counsellor, therapist or join a support group. I would try and see what resources are available in the community and through the church.

Or maybe it is time to consider moving mom into a nursing home or assisted living. Please don't allow yourself to give and give till you are mentally and physically ill. We all do the best we can, but sometimes when enough is enough, its time to look at other options.

Thinking of you.
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You tell the caregiver "when mom makes the bed, you need to check that it's not wet or soiled".
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