Anyone out there caring for their elder parent with dementia and alcoholism?!

I don't have an answer for you but just to say I'm so sorry.  I can't imagine how difficult the drinking and having ALZ/Dementia together is to handle.  I really hate a alcohol - prior family experience.  I hope you get the answers you need.  All my best.

I read your profile and you live in Cal and parents in AR? Are you planning on moving closer to them? Because if not, I don't know how u can care for them long distance without them at least being in an Assisted Living. A time will come they will not be able to care for themselves or each other. Are you willing to move in with them or visa versa. Since your husband already feels its a madhouse, do u think he'll want to live with it indefinitely. He is your first concern.

Dementia can worsen overnight. Taking care of one Dementia person is hard 2 more so and mix alcohol in with it...

You may want to consider a NH. Research and see if there is one that can deal with alcoholism. It doesn't have to be permanent. Get your parents dried out and then evaluated. They may be able to go to an AL but no way should they be on their own.

JoAnn, as usual, is right. It will take lots of work and research on your part, but you need to do SOMETHING. They need help. Do you have anyone who can help you do this? You need help with this. They probably don’t think there’s anything wrong, but if they’re drunk and falling, there definitely is. They will not acknowledge that they have a problem, but you know they do. You may need to call Adult Protective Services. When you have alcoholic tendencies, you are the last one who thinks you need help.

My dad is alcoholic with dementia. I too wanted answers but there isn't anything you can do. My dad was driving to store and getting a 12pack a day. One day he had a car accident and totaled his truck. License was lost and he became house bound. So we tried to limit him to 2~3 a day but sometimes he'd get more from "friends ". He has now had another TIA and he isn't as insistent on beer. I was told by social workers and APS if he is making his own decisions, however wrong, then they can't do anything. I'm sorry for your situation. I was told that it would take something happening to change things and they were right.

You want a solution but don't seem to want to accept the removal of alcohol from their life. Can you consider the medication that makes drinking unpleasant and loses the effects of alcohol. Nothing ever will improve at any stage when alcoholism is involved. Couple that with dementia and you or both you and they could have much worse problems. If you cant help to remove that from their lives you might as well walk away because you will be fighting a hopeless battle.