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How did it work out and what was the ball park cost? My mother has dementia. She is age 86. She has been in and out of the hospital but is now in a palliative care unit arriving from a nursing home. Her meds appear to be controlled now and her demeanor is much calmer now. I do not want to send her back to a nursing home. I want to bring her home. However, I will need help and am looking more for a free-lance person. I know that we have to get referrals, background checks, etc. Hospice will teach me how to administer meds and I will be here when she needs to be turned in the bed. She is not ambulatory. This is would be the first time I have ever considered this and I'm reluctant. She has improved so much in palliative care that I want to try this.
Any help would be appreciated!

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Remember that your own health is vital to be the caregiver you want to be.

I agree with the others. If you bring her home you may be taking on far more than you realize. Hiring help can be hard. If she's receiving hospice care now, the facility will coordinate with hospice and you can relax and be the loving daughter that your mother needs now rather than a completely exhausted caregiver. Unless you already know someone you can count on 100% to help you at home, I think you're better off leaving her where she is.

Please keep us posted. We'd like to know how you are handling this.
Carol
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WHOA! Stop! While I admire your willingness to consider helping, the truth is her dementia and mobility will not get 100% better. You will have to provide all her help (cooking, laundry, meds, cleaning, toileting etc) while you navigate her insurance network then find and hire a caregiver. Since she is not ambulatory I don't think she can be left alone at anytime due to safety concerns. So that means 24 hour care which is very expensive. Her insurance may pay for a few services such as bath aide or respite care but the rest will probably be out of pocket. As for turning in the bed, that usually needs to happen every 2 hours to prevent skin breakdown and bedsores. If you have a job you'll have to take time off till you find the help you need. Be thankful she has improved and let her stay there so she can get the best help she deserves because it will be a frustrating journey.....are you ready for your life to change completely because it will.
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Please, for your own health and hers, leave her in the nursing home. You can't turn her every 2 hours. When would you sleep? Getting a freelance caretaker requires you to not only be sure he/she is honest and skilled, but you will have to pay social security, workman's comp, insurance and anything else required for employees. By the time you do all of this, it would probably cost the same as bringing in someone from an agency. If you can't leave her in the home because it costs too much, do some of the care yourself and get someone from an agency for the night shift and respite for you.
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this is accomplished often in my neighbor hood, with all eyes open to the complicated issues......... Some of us "mature nurses" still have endless compassion and time to devote to end of life familiy situations.
Ask your local MDs, home health and hospice agencies for a list of local
independent home care companion providers and check with actual referrals.
It is possible if all cooperate and the home worker does their own taxes and
passes the tests of many known local happy referrals.
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My mom and step-dad hired a free lance person to help both despite our objections and he forged over $10,000 of checks from their joint account before he was caught, tried and convicted. We have never seen a dime of that money returned. They did not learn their lesson for they hired another free lance person to help both, but she about let my mother die after 8 days of being home from rehab where my mother had made great progress. My step-sister oversees the three caregivers at home for my dad 24/7, but they are not free lance. I would never hire a free lance. Too risky.
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I am a nurse, I have worked with seniors for several years as a Director of Nursing in an assisted living community. Many families see their loved ones stabilize and they want to bring them home because it is very difficult to see their loved ones in a community setting. Hiring a "non-agency" caregiver might lower your cost but the risk is also higher. No caregiver agency or not comes without risk but the risk is extremely high when you higher someone privately. Hiring through an agency that is reputable gives you an opportunity to know that all background screenings have been completed without you having to figure this out or pay for it. Reputable agencies will have liability, bonds and other mandatory insurances in the event there is any injury to the employee or your loved one. If your caregiver injures themselves in your home, you can possibly be liable for the expenses of their care which just add additional expense and stress to you. If you do hire someone that does not work with an agency I would suggest possibly having multiple interviews, possibly with someone who works in the medical field so they can ask the clinical questions needed. Make sure to really call all references and that they are true professional references, not "friends" pretending to be professional references, that is very common. I would really consider the pros and cons, having your Mom in a community setting that specializes in Dementia care could be a great benefit to you and to your mother especially since she is non-ambulatory, with the additional oversight of 24 hour staffing in a quality community setting she will get the care she needs and reduce situations such as skin integrity issues and poor nutrition. There are many factors to assess. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
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I did hire freelance help for my mother-in-law. We had to go through several people before we found a couple of really good ones. It wasn't easy, but it was what she could afford. I supervised very closely until I knew I could trust them. I dropped in frequently, checked the house out, saw the meals prepared. I gave them a menu of the foods she needed and liked. I set up a schedule for laundry, bathing, etc. They seemed grateful for the specific guidance. We paid by the day. One person worked 4 days and the other 3. Unfortunately, you have to interview and actually try out several people before you are satisfied. I wish you and yours the very best.
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Nursing homes have been around about 80 years. ....families about 15, 000 years. Everyone dies....where would YOU want to die, in a nursing home, or in someone's home like your own or your son/daughter's?
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While I agree with tinatincan and judypanama -
on another hand, I've heard and seen caregiving horror stories for "agency help". And, many caregivers aren't like me - I would do ANYTHING for my parents. My dad was Not non-ambulatory or demented, and he was not a big man, and I am strong from a lifetime of handling horses and heavy hay bales, as well as I had immense CARE for my wonderful special parents. Now that my parents are gone - and my middle name is compassion and empathy - I would very much like word-of-mouth freelance caregiving positions, like thru our church, etc. It's very hard to find, in this day-n-age. God knows, I care - am compassionate, empathetic, honest, ethical, integrous - and took the caregiving classes to be a better caregiver for my parents. I do not keep up with "State requirements" for yearly fees (revenue to the State), etc. - so wouldn't be able to work thru agencies... as I said, I've seen horror stories thru agencies. Further, my dad had the good karma for a truly wonderful retired Adventist RN in 1965-8, to live-in with my grandfather, across the street from us - she was freelance and worked 24/6, just got the one day a week off. She was so terrific, my grandfather actually proposed to her (and she came to my dad and said "I think U should know..., and of course I said no.") She was just a true ethical honest gem... those were different times - but I do still reflect those ethics, and would love for word-of-mouth freelance, IF it was available.
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forget the nursing home... despite what others think, most nursing homes don't turn their patients every 2 hours... from my experience caring for my 92 yr. old dementia mom at home, YOU can give the care you want for your mom... hospice is a god send r , rely on their experience... we have used caregivers from home health care groups for my 2 elderly cousins, ...take the time to do your research for the person you want... you won't regret it later....
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