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We really do need more info. You may want to call your Office on Aging and ask if they can help u with the process. Are you looking for LTC or just insurance or in home care?
Like said, it can be a long process. I was lucky that Mom kept her bank statements. I had five years. I actually had all the paperwork needed. What I didn't have was easy to get. I started the process in April. Mom entered LTC May first and paid privately for 2 months. Medicaid took over July first. I had 90 days to get everything Medicaid needed and find a LTC facility. This was in the state of NJ. The lawyer was just in case I had problems with the sale of the house and Medicaid.
One other thing. You r the Community spouse and as such your income is split in such a way that you don't become impoverished. You r able to pay ur bills. A couple I knew had 60k in their savings. The money was split with his half being spent down for his care. Not sure how SS and pensions were done but the woman kept the house and car and never seemed to be hurting for money.
Medicaid - & I’m guessing this is LTC in a facility type of Medicaid you looking at - is totally an “at need” program both medically & financially, my response is based on this being the case. For LTC Medicaid paperwork for couples where 1 needs placement and the other (you) are ok & fine to continue living in your home, so you will be considered to be the “community spouse “, aka a CS, it is not at all simple to wade thru. There will be a division of assets & income done. And doing it wrong can pose issues for her eligibility and could even put into play transfer penalty issues that need not have been.
I think dealing with a widowed parents LTC application can totally be a DIY for the DPOA holding child if they have kinda been involved in thier parents life. I did my mom’s, & helped my hubs do his mom’s, it was no picnic but was manageable to do successfully. But married couple / CS is not a DIY. I’d suggest you find a NAELA or CELA level of elder law attorney to do this & shepherd the application and deal with doing things that better position both her & you for your financial future. There’s alot ofhype out there on ways around Medicaid eligibility - those dinner seminars with fuzzy promises - and for those facing LTC Medicaid, well your overwhelmed in day to day caregiving and can easily hear what you want to hear which may not be accurate.
I’ve been on this forum quite a while and probably the biggest errors are for the CS to be putting their monthly income into a joint account (which can place $ under Medicaid asset rules), which makes no sense as your income is NOT a factor in her eligibility. The other error is not changing beneficiary to others on everything you can. The classic example is life insurance.... most couples have each other as beneficiary or have their estate as beneficiary (my dad did this, as back then it was assumed the lil old widow couldn’t manage $ so went to his estate for probate atty to do, rotflmao). If you should predecease her, that life insurance $ takes her off of Medicaid as she now has assets & who is gonna deal with it for her, like your dead, so who will be there? Or goes as asset of her Estate and so subject to an attempt for MERP aka Estate Recovery. Instead what you try to do when feasible is to change stuff to beneficiary or POD to your kids or trusted friend so not you or your wife’s asset. An experienced atty knows what to look for. Plus making sure you get the max CSRA or MMNA- which are waived income allowance from the LTC spouse income to the CS. Again things like these not a DIY, imho.
Is your husband a Veteran? If so have you gone to the VA to see what services he may qualify for?
Depending on where and when he served he may be eligible for quite a bit of help.
Contact the VA or go to a Veterans Commission Office they will help you find out what he might be eligible for. If you happen to have his discharge papers that will speed things up a lot