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I have several questions to the community. How do you evaluate the home services you receive? How did you introduce the services to your loved one who has alz? My spouse has early onset alz and is resistant to having someone come in and assist me and give me a break. I have been doing everything for two years and it is obviously getting more difficult to care for her.

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I encounter situations like this before. It's all about finding the right caregiver who will be able to bond with her and make her feel comfortable with the idea of having someone there.

I know most agencies offer free consultations. If you know of any, I'd consider the option of looking into them. In addition, I know most home care agencies, like our own, offer to swap the caregiver an infinite amount of times until they find the right one.

It's an option you can look into. I hope this helps.
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pepa12, I had two polar opposite experiences with home care... but it wasn't the Agency, it was with my parents. My very elderly Mom was not user friendly and refused to let the caregivers back in.... once Mom was in long-term-care, Dad was more than happy to call back the same Agency and the caregivers just loved working for him.

I used a well-known Agency that was licensed, bonded, insured, and had workman's comp for their employees. They were expensive, but worth every penny. Even when my Dad moved to Independent Living, he brought along his favorite caregiver, this gave him a routine.

The Agency rep came to the house to interview us, and I in turn interviewed her. She asked a ton of very important questions. During the first two weeks, the Agency sent numerous caregivers [male and female] to see who would be the best match for Dad. Bravo we found a perfect match for the weekdays day shift, and one for the weekend day shift. Dad didn't mind who came in the evening or for the over-night shift. The day shift was the most important.

Thank goodness for the caregivers, I don't know how people do it on their own. I was totally exhausted doing the logistical stuff. That alone was very stressful. I rather have open heart surgery then try to cook a meal :P

Pepa, instead of telling your wife the Caregiver is for her, tell her the Caregiver is there to help you [Pepa]. Tell your wife you just don't have the energy like you use to, and you're afraid you might hurt yourself.... then who would take care of her??? As mentioned before, have the Agency send out different Caregivers, hopefully your wife will be able to bond with one.
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Dear pepa12,

Home care is a good option. I think if you can stay for the first few times the home care assistant or nurse arrives that would be helpful in assisting your spouse accept this person. I know its not easy to arrive at this stage. I hope you can find a home care worker that your spouse can trust and feel comfortable with. I know its hard to find someone to care for our loved ones. Take your time and ensure they are fully vetted.

After my dad's stroke there was an option for home care but I was afraid of his reaction. I ended up doing it all myself till his passing. I have to say after three years it did take a toll. I am ashamed to say I let the anger and resentment get the best of me. I wish I had implemented home care from the beginning so we could have the resources in place.
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