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I am trying very hard to keep my mom home with me and not placed in a NH. Solving the overnight incontinence will help a great deal. She was Dx with Parkinson’s 10 yrs ago and now has vascular dementia too. She is cognitively intact many days and some days struggles to follow simple commands. Her physical strength has diminished but can ambulate with a walker with assistance and guarding. She now needs assistance to eat if not having finger foods. Basically she is needs total care. Recently I noticed a change in hand eye coordination. Mom’s Medicaid application is pending.



I have a 2 great dayshift caregivers to cover days 7 days a week but have been unlucky with night shift help. She needs to be checked, rolled to be changed if wet, and repositioned overnight. She is sweet, not combative or mean at all but post COVID there just doesn’t seem to be reliable help available.



I noticed if she is wet the next day she tries to limit her fluid intake—which leads to confusion as she quickly becomes dehydrated. I also work remotely and have to travel for work so need PRN help overnight regardless. I have an alarm set to check her every 3 hours overnight but having lupus the constant interrupted sleep wears me down. I don’t mind getting up at 5am to get her changed but don’t want her sitting in wet pull-up all night and wind up with a UTI.



I have lupus, a bad back with a fusion and new herniations and need a knee replacement since caring for her the past year. I have one brother in NJ that assists financially and another locally that is not available or financially able to assist ( has 3 jobs to try to make it himself). It is difficult to find reliable, competent and affordable overnight caregiver. My back and knee are taxed with frequent rolling and bearing her weight as she leans on me to get up to recliner where she spends the morning until caregiver arrives.



I am not sure how much longer I can continue due to my own health challenges without some effective device for her incontinence. Any ideas? We can’t afford more than $15/hr overnight for someone and they often get to sleep if they set alarm to check/change her, I also have a bed alarm in place. However, people want ridiculous amounts of money that I cannot afford.



My mother would be emotionally devastated to be placed in a NH. Also, due to poor staffing in NH, I believe she would decline quickly and pass of a UTI prematurely. My brothers are not emotionally supportive and seem to have dismissed her as a priority. I’m all in my own with this and want the best for my mom.

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