Basically she cannot maintain a house and over time got siblings to do the needed home projects (father is gone). The real answer is downsizing which she refuses to do. Siblings seem to be getting annoyed as I don't get involved in "discretionary" work with SAME REASON - as long as she has food/shelter/clothes (the BASICS) she is fine and can get things done on her own, or downsize. She never went "beyond" for me as a kid or adult when I needed major justified help (or if I pleaded, she did so once grudgingly like someone was cutting off her arm and complained to many). As a kid there were many times that I needed guidance on important non-school "life" things and I never had that. She always told me to figure things out for myself. She certainly didn't lose any sleep over my social issues! (Maybe the secret to living so long - don't give a sh*t).
Also, siblings drive her around town, despite the town having a free senior transport service. Mother doesn't want to use this service when I suggest. She seems to want others to drive in from out of town and take her on errands.
She would also often say to me as a kid that she never needed anyone for anything, but is now manipulating siblings into doing things for her contrary to her regular preaching from my youth. Basically a hard, tough person all along that did not extend herself but now seems to be expecting it vs "walking the walk" that she continually "talked the talk" about on never needing help from anyone.
Looking for thoughts on this.