After last Sunday's nightmare when I had to call the Police on my mother, they took for her a mental evaluation which I assume she passed because people with NPD are highly intelligent and charming and convincing. She has no money and doesn't make good financial decisions whatsoever! Went to an Attorney today and he suggested getting a conservatorship for my mother. He wanted a $2500.00 retainer plus $250 per hour. Also, if she contests it (and I am sure she will) she gets a Guardian Ad Litem and Attorney Ad Litem that each bill me at $150.00 per hour. Or I just throw her on the street. As nasty as she is, and maybe this is me as an Empath and a sucker, I can't do that to her. At least I hope not to do that to her. No guarantee I will be awarded the conservatorship. She's capable enough and strong. If I lose it in court then I am stuck with her. I have my own Depression and Anxiety struggles, a house that needs constant repairs, a dog with cancer that requires a TON of care and will probably live another 5 - 10 years. Mom will live at least another 20 years. My job is super stressful. I have no one to look after me and I moved to a state 5 years ago and still have not made any friends. All I do is work, work on the never ending house repairs, take care of a sick dog and deal with mom. I just don't know what to do!!! If I threw her out I would feel tremendous guilt. I can't afford to buy her, her own condo and she is so nasty, who knows if she would go and live in it. If I spend $1000's and am awarded the conservatorship, that just means she still in my home until I can find her housing (1 - 2 year wait list for affordable senior living). And I would still have to pay $400.00 per month for the rest of HER life. She will literally outlive me. I feel so very trapped with her. I have no life and no friends.
I would not do this. You must make your own decision. I am with those on your other thread who suggest that personality disorder is not an excuse for abuse.
I wish you so much luck going forward. You have some hard decisions coming which will make you feel rotten no matter which way you go. My heart goes out to you; only you can make these decisions. And yup, she'll likely outlive you. There's something about literally "not caring" that just eliminates the stress that kills us, and people who are badly personality disordered cannot care. They lack sympathy and empathy; it's just missing.
So sorry for all you are going through. I had asked on your other thread if you saw the lawyer, so ignore that question. Only you can decide. I wish you so much luck.