When my mother was dying 6 years ago, I hired a respite care worker from the only agency in the area. The only person they could send me was terrible. Nice enough person but tons of personal problems and constantly sick. At one point I went to shower and when I returned the caregiver was in tears about her boyfriend and my dying mother was handing her tissues. Needless to say, I had to handle the last 6 weeks of her life by myself, as there were no other options. I also ended up paying about 1000.00 for care we didn't use because my mom didn't want her around.
So now I have been caring for my father with dementia for 6 years. He lives with me and my husband, I quit my job, we can't go anywhere or do anything, haven't had a day off in 6 years. We both have serious caregiver burnout. However, the only option would be the same place as before.
I feel like I am already managing so much, I don't have the energy to take on some strangers problems, which is my experience.
What do you do when hiring help makes you feel worse and causes more stress?