Lately I’ve been running into this with my mom. She has a smartphone (Google Pixel), but barely uses it for apps that could actually make her life easier, like getting a ride on Uber, getting food on Uber Eats, or shopping on Amazon. She's nervous about scams or hitting the wrong button, and I’ve tried showing them how things work but it hasn't gone well so far. Anyone in the same boat, or found a way to make teaching tech to older parents easier?
YOUR MOM IS RIGHT TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT SCAMS. SENIORS ARE HEAVILY TARGETED.
A cellphone, aka smart phone can butt-dial even if used by the technologically savvy.
It happens so often that they even have a name for it. That is why they call it butt-dial, and why that name has become so familiar. People laugh about it.
It may be okay for some to keep making this mistake, but I think it is very rude, and embarrassing.
A frustrated adult should never be teaching their parent how to use a smart phone.
Find someone else to teach them.
I love technology and can’t understand why people are afraid of it or reluctant to learn. I’ve spent countless hours coaching, instructing, insisting and being stonewalled by stubborn people who insist that they don’t really need a smartphone or a computer. I’ve given up. It’s pretty much the only way to deal with them. IMO.
It really is hard for the older mind to grasp new things. I do know how to use apps but I can see where it would be a problem.
I agree with what you have said.
However, my tech-husband does change the channel with his wireless phone.
I could be wrong, even delusional.
I do not have the need to call for a Ride Share or any Meal delivery and I rarely shop Amazon.
But if I HAD to get a ride and a friend was not available I would have no option other than walk to get a ride share or a cab. (Yes there are still cabs)
I have no need to order a meal to be delivered. I have enough food and or leftovers that I can be quite nourished for a while.
Now you say mom is worried about hitting the wrong "button" Can you clear the screen for her so the only thing she can tap is the few things that she might need.
The more she does it the easier it will get for her and the more comfortable she will be with the technology. Maybe when you are with her you can let her do the tapping and you be there to support her.
Also some phones are easier for older people to use make sure mom has one of the easiest ones to use.
NOW...I will say that my Husband did not have a "smartphone" he resisted a phone for a long time and when he got one it was a Trac Phone that had to be loaded with minutes each month. He could not or would not enter the numbers to get the minutes on the card that he purchased. He would have me do it and follow the prompts. I realized later this was part of his dementia. He had not yet been diagnosed but the process was just to confusing for him.
This might be what is happening to your mom. It might not be "dementia" but MCI. If this is the only thing she is having problems with then it is not much of a worry but if there are other little things that she is having to work around, or not doing because she is having difficulty it might be something to look into.
So the problem here is perhaps your willingness/ability to accept aging changes that mean we simply cannot/do not wish to "keep up". It becomes a fact of life for every generation, but in particular for this generation faced with "tech".
You will be surprised how quickly things begin to pass you by, and we won't be around to say "Welcome to our world" usually. However, I am beginning to see it in my 63 y/o daughter and her 71 y/o hubby.
Best of luck. If you have tried and they don't wish to or cannot do it, you have your answer. And the "whys" of it all honestly don't much matter. Scratch your head and move on after a good solid try, unless your elder wishes to keep trying.
My mom had a laptop at 79, smartphone at 81 and has used an iPad since aged 82. She is now 89, surfs the web daily and WhatsApp's us all regularly as her hearing is deteriorating. She has learned to control her heating through a WiFi gadget. She orders online, admittedly Amazon makes that easy. She lives on her own, still manages her daily tasks, keeps an immaculate garden because she wants to retain her independence for as long as she can. She said "it's mind over matter".
I wonder what happens as tech heavy generations age, experience cognitive decline and have these powerful devices in their hands...I feel there is trouble ahead! Your mom is right to be concerned about scams (they get more and more creative and sophisticated) and making a mistake.
Your parents are probably at an age where, not only is it more difficult to remember how to do or learn new things, but they are actively forgetting how to do things that they were really familiar with. It's part of age-related decline.
When my 96-yr old Mom's flip phone finally broke, she wanted the same one to replace it. But arthritis and neuropathy in her fingertips prevented her from handling the phone well, and when she held the phone she continuously was pressing the volume (-) button. She had trouble seeing the display, etc. I got her a RAZ Mobility phone and I control a lot from an app on my iPhone. It doesn't have data, or internet or texting but it is easier for her to see and handle. She has my old iPad on which she plays games -- but she's had it for about 8 years.
In my family business I used all sorts of Apple devices starting from 1989 and continuously to this day. It takes me longer to figure stuff out on my own, but I make myself do it. But considering my generation (Boomer) I think I'm an exception. I would not but my energies in teaching your parents how to do something they just can't retain or keep up with unless you wish to be their perpetual tech support.
How old are your parents? Where are they on banking, processing mail, cooking, doing their laundry, picking up after themselves? How is the hygiene? Do they use mobility aides like a walker or cane? How is their short term memory?
They don’t drive, how long has that been?
Give us more info please so we have an idea of their capabilities.
They either get it or never do. I tried to teach my uncle how to use an Apple iPhone at age 79 and he couldn't understand the touch screen. Looking back it may have been the beginning of his dementia symptoms becoming more prevalent but he couldn't get the hang of it. My father is exact opposite and learned very quickly.