I had spoken to my dad about this, caring for him, for a year or so before he needed me. When he was in rehab my sibs and family assumed he was never coming home amd had made plans for assisted living.
When they found out I was bringing him home, at first some said O.K. We will help. The nursing home was releasing him with or without me. He can't live alone so I said OK when he asked. Evidently I ruined plans of looting and some had already started. Grandkids included. I live 2 hours away, they live here. By accident I found out what was going on. I caught one member filling a box. Anyway, some how I am the bad guy. I ruined their plans, swooped in, and took control of all assets, etc. So they even disclude you from holidays, and don't visit Dad because they are mad at me. It hurts, it adds to burnout. I can't believe none of them have even visited. Except my brother. He does what he is able. Makes me sad, to watch dad suffer. I offered it to anyone who wanted it. TY for this site.
It would have been my Mom's Birthday the other day and I sent an e-mail out saying something about it and that we should all get together and have a picnic in May at the bench we dedicated to her in her favorite park. Two of my sibs responded. But the others, not a word. But really, what was I expecting. They disappeared when Mom most needed them and why would anything be different now.
I encourage you to emotionally step back from those people. That's what I had to do (or I'm still trying anyway). I keep my own counsel and keep doing what's right by Mom. I only communicate with my siblings when I have to and try to keep it on Mom. It's helped.
I had one sibling acting as though information was imposing a guilt trip on him, simultaneously another accusing me of being secretive if I didn't answer questions she hadn't asked, while the third ignored messages altogether. Note: I am no longer in contact with these people. If you have relationships you want to preserve, you might want to work harder than I was prepared to.
At least they're not getting in your way! Welcome all approaches, don't be deterred from contacting them if you want or need to, and waste no time worrying about what they think.
#1 I wouldn't expect the girlfriend to spend her precious vacation time running around after *my ex's* children, why the heck should she?
#2 It wasn't the girlfriend who dumped her three year old on me, knowing full well I had deadlines to meet, so she could go shopping for two days, was it?
I expect your sister is extremely dedicated when it comes to spotting all your shortcomings. What a wonderful caring daughter she must be.
If they had any remorse for what they did, they would apologize. But don't hold your breath waiting for an apology. They won't come to help. Most likely, they are waiting for the next opportunity to loot again. So, you should focus your energy on protecting your father's assets legally. Go talk to a lawyer.
The rest however never call never visit and even when my dad passed away a little over a year ago, not a word from them. I feel so sad for my Mom. the issue is theirs.
Press on. Stay strong, do the right thing and pray a lot.