Byathread, I'm following your story with interest; however, could you expand "SW?" Obviously it's a title of some sort. Sorry, not up to speed with all the abbreviations. Thanks.
I think you are COMPLETELY justified in allowing the State to take over your mom's care. If the facility SW thinks your mom can be independent enough for transitional living, then let them arrange it.
Some folks, as part of the brain damage from a stroke/dementia, don't recognize their own deficits. It's not their fault, but it also doesn't mean that it's your problem to solve.
Yes...if my mom for some reason does not get her pending Medicaid..lots of hoops to jump through and I am not able to give her the care she needs and her primary physician says she needs someone 24/7...she has moderate dementia and is in nursing home where she is socially interacting, going on outings, participating in activities has made friends..all of which she DID NOT do at home..just sat and slept and demanded she b waited on hand/foot and walked bent half into..and has had no falls or fractures since there..she's very incontinent..many accidents through the day and they change her every 2 hours at nite at home she refused to get up and go to bathroom and even told SW that she would b asked to go to bathroom and said she would sit there for an hour then pee her herself (her words) SW has told her about something called Transitional Living getting her hopes up? she has never been a cup half full person all her life always negative..which made me/sister like that till we realized life is too short to always c negativity and nothing positive in life...she hasn't fixed her own medicine (and wouldn't take it, throw it away or hide it) when I fixed it..hasn't washed her hair in 2 years and got to where ..(before going between me and my sibling)she wasn't cleaning her apt or herself or cooking or letting the dog out or changing bird cage papers..she has had 1 brain stem stroke which most ppl don't survive..doesn't seem to realize how blessed she was to survive that without being a vegetable..2 mini strokes and a heartattack is blind in one eye from stroke..so as my sibling works at a school told me when she went back to school she could no longer help with my mom understand completely..we told our children when time comes they think we need more care than they can provide to have no guilt/regret of placing us in a Nursing Facility...my mom thinks she will b able to move out on her own when she can't toilet herself, drive, cook, take care of fixing and taking meds 2x day..when she did live in her apart when I'd take her to store she'd buy meat and take it to her neighbor to put in her freezer so she could fix it for my mom..rather presumptuous that this neighbor would cook at my moms demand and she would even call them and ask when dinner was..needless to say after her living with me for 2 years..can no longer do this..she threatens to take me off as her POA...that's fine cause I won't b there if she would somehow manage to bluff her way to transitional living..sorry if that sounds cruel or heartless..I'm not that type of person but when I tried my best to take care of her and her demands and I'm bipolar I started drinking along with my xanax...my dad was an alcoholic...and I never had a desire to drink..until she had moved into my home and I got to the place where I was always thinking how can I (suicide for me or me and her both) get out of this unbearable situation...I honestly don't feel she would b safe with me again...guess I'm just looking for answers about STATE GUARDIANSHIP in case she would somehow manage to bluff the SW..a 25 yr old who thinks my mom is more of a Assisted Living person..which she can't afford and my budget doesn't allow helping her pay for it..that's the first thing we checked on and ones around here don't take Medicaid...so I'm thinking if she should somehow b able to transition making her a ward of state..what do u do in this situation when u c mom has improved so much being around other ppl and all her needs r being met...when she was home she would say in a woe is me voice "I'm 75 yrs old"..now that she's in Nursing Facility it "BUT IM ONLY 75 I CANT BELIEVE U LEFT ME HERE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE" I go c her everyday, take her out and go with her to the outings they have where they take them to eat..didn't mean to rattle on (as my husband says I'm prone to do) just trying to provide more info..thanks for listening
I think you are COMPLETELY justified in allowing the State to take over your mom's care. If the facility SW thinks your mom can be independent enough for transitional living, then let them arrange it.
Some folks, as part of the brain damage from a stroke/dementia, don't recognize their own deficits. It's not their fault, but it also doesn't mean that it's your problem to solve.