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Boy do I need a vent session....Every evening mom comes in from work (she works part time!) and is in a very nasty mood. She argues with me..I can't even carry out a conversation with her because there's always a fight..She won't take her meds as she says she feels fine..I told the doctor about this, he ordered bloodwork to check her thyroid but mom didn't go after I spent almost an hour on the computer creating her an account with the lab, putting in her insurance info, then asking her when she'd like the appointment..I get that all set and figured, okay, she's all good with an appointment and she doesn't have to wait because as a diabetic she'll be fasting and I want to have her avoid any low sugar reactions...So bedtime comes and doesn't she take five extra units of insulin... (I told her not to but she did it anyway...) and her blood sugar dropped early in the morning when she woke up..So she didn't feel well and cancelled the appointment..I asked her why she did that when I spent so much time...I heard that sleep apnea can cause dementia like symptoms, but she's so nice to everyone else but me..She even went and dumped my small container of tea bags on the floor and said that I did it and she didn't! I don't know, but all she talks about is her money and how she doesn't have any when she has five other accounts (dad wasn't stupid)..So I called the sleep study lab and talked to the nurse..She told me mom needs to be re evaluated for dementia...It's now 6 pm and she's not home yet..I'm dreading it because I know she will be coming in with her bank statement after spending an hour or two at the bank and will yell about that. She out and out told me over the weekend that I'm unable to work so I may as well go on disability because she's the one footing the bill..I said to her well, who's been taking you back and forth to emergency rooms, doctors offices, and not to mention the sleepless nights spent checking her blood sugar's, her falls, and breathing (chronic bronchitis) problem which she was on antibiotic therapy three times plus nebulizer treatments and a puffer for shortness of breath...She got a diagnosis of centrilobular emphysema which isn't as bad I was told..So tomorrow I take her to hospital for breathing tests..And that's to see how far adv her emphysema is...So, she's been throwing hints like how will my teen son support himself when I'm gone and I told her I'm not going anywhere and that I'm very much alive and who doesn't like it well that's their problem.!.Plus she's a narcissist and I read narcissists want certain family members dead.!!..Although she's never come right out with it, I also think she's projecting her anger at her diagnoses onto me..But she never loved me anyhow and sis is the favorite...So, she told sis on the phone the other night that I will take care of her til she goes, just like I did my dad..Plus she wants me to work full time actually I work full time here at the house..She can't keep up with the housework although she does try..So, I went out and got a job and she screamed at me for that as well.!..I think another trip to the Neuro office is in order...I feel like I'm in competition here..Let's see who can out live the other..Sick and dysfunctional, I know..But that's how I feel..If she's having homicidal thoughts she needs to go back on an anti depressant but the last one she was on made these thoughts more pronounced...Well, to the normal person they'd never believe me because she puts on such a show to everyone and especially family who come from out of town..She has to cook a big spread and then I get to play Cinderella and clean up..She's 85 and I'm not about to let her do it , but T just angers me that I always get stuck with helping out when she wants to make dinner every weekend for sis and her millionaire boyfriend when sis is just too busy and never comes by..Yet my mother keeps trying..And I do it all and just get the abuse...I'm sick of it all...Hopefully if this job works I have plans of giving mom a bunch of money to maybe get a new air conditioning unit and fix the roof for her plus pay off my car..But the job itself is very depressing and I haven't accepted it fully yet, (working with a terminally ill toddler)..So everything's sort of up in the air with that..There are other jobs so I'm still applying..Stress at home plus stress at work does not make for a healthy balance..Only the pleasant jobs don't pay anything...Since I got the job offer she hasn't thrown any homicidal hints at me, (like mentioning I'll go before her..) it's just so crazy and upsetting..Then it got me thinking..Maybe she senses something and is trying to give me a heads up because she's my mother.. I don't know at this point...I'm trying to figure everything out..I've taught her all I know about her care, so she knows what to do..I'm big on independence for the elder population..I really think they need to be in control. Is anyone else going through this?? Thanks for reading..

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Thanks and so true..Yes now I stand there and without her seeing me I watch her take her meds or I give them to her myself. Usually I do go to the doctor's with her depending if she wants me there or not..But her lung doc said her "behavior problems" could actually be from severe sleep apnea which she's probably had since the 70s (which is when all this aggressiveness towards me escalated) and back then I'm not sure if they knew anything about sleep apnea...But Thanks for the reply!! Hugs, T39
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Honestly, this doesn't sound like dementia to me. It sounds like depression and possible anxiety. I believe that going back to the doctor would do wonders. She is 85 though. Sometimes loved ones take all their pent up emotions on those they trust the most, because they don't know what else to do. If she's refusing to go to the doctor, then go with her. Don't give her an excuse. If she's overdoing her meds, you may have to take a role in controlling them. Overall, I think she knows something is off (it could just be because she's getting up there), and is getting worried. She doesn't want to worry you. Just be patient, don't fight, and most importantly, don't take offense to it. They can't always help who gets on the frontline of an emotional and stress overload.
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