My mother in law has great days when she is clear as a bell. She could balance a check book, and have a great conversation. The next day she can't recall how long it was since her last shower and leaves her plates on the floor next to her chair. Or stuffs diapers into the shower. We are like Katie22, we didn't realize something was wrong until she was hospitalized from a fall. Then the 'wonkies' showed up.
Yes! My mom still does have good days. She can still put on a good show sometimes. Then Sundowning starts and people are there and she has just been with her mom. My sister and I were just talking about how crazy dementia is! So much back and forth. My mom is somewhere in the middle stages most days. Your not alone on this one!
I want to thank everyone who replied to this post. I am going through a spate of denial. Hubby seems normal. Right now he is putting together a swing. For the last couple of days, I am having a hard time with all of this. He is in the beginning stages, he was diagnosed over 1-1/2 hears ago. Right now I can't see that he has changed at all. It is so confusing. Thanks for listening to me. Of course, I am working to see that nothing is stressing him. I know that has nothing to do with anything.
For me, the worse part of this disease is that Mom reappears in the mornings as her old self and by afternoon the other part of her appears which is delusional, wants to go home, says there are strangers in my bed (she is in a memory care/nursing home facility), or says she has been robbed. Then at night again, she is herself and denies having said those things or having called me 20 times in 1 hour.
As much as I understand these fluctuations on an intellectual and medical level, emotionally it is still difficult to readjust each time a new stage of her dementia appears.
May we have patience and peace as we go through these times, and love for ourselves as we try to manage them internally.
Relish the moments of clarity. I wish I would have sat with my Mom on those days and had her tell me stories of her early life and all the people in the old photos. I know many of them but not all. As they age and the dementia progresses, you will visit but they won't "be there". It's sad, frustrating and exhausting all at once. My caregiving days are over but my mind is still anguished.
Mary My Fathers like this. Some days completely crazy with hallucinations that are unbelievable. Then he has an alert day and you think you have got it wrong. He is in care home but still tries to manipulate to get his own way. Hard to work it out
We didn't notice much until my Mom was hospitalized. She was always a very independent capable person running her own businesses. Then all of a sudden after the hospital for a broken arm, she began to act crabby, see things, etc. There would be days where she had scary hallucinations and next day be fine and not remember a thing! It frightened me when she was on hospice, bedridden in my home and she would yell in the middle of the night or call for me and tell me that someone was at the front door at 3 am. Then she would be fine for days.
I have been told to think of it like a loose light bulb or battery connection: sometimes works, then other times kind of wonky flashing/ on and off. Pretty much perfectly describes my mother. Gets up and seems ok. Even asks about something scheduled or something we talked about the day before., Then before you know it, the craziness comes and goes. The obsession with walking back and forth to the bathroom. The Sundowning in the eves and hit and miss with the hallucinations and the "room being different" etc. I am at wits end. SO exhausted. Care cannot come fast enough these days.
My mom had nearly two weeks of almost perfect clarity.... when these periods occur, I can't help but think... maybe... maybe we were mistaken? But I went to see her two days ago, and her caregiver says she doesn't remember I was there... What a horrible disease for everyone! Hugs to all! We need 'em.
We are like Katie22, we didn't realize something was wrong until she was hospitalized from a fall. Then the 'wonkies' showed up.
As much as I understand these fluctuations on an intellectual and medical level, emotionally it is still difficult to readjust each time a new stage of her dementia appears.
May we have patience and peace as we go through these times, and love for ourselves as we try to manage them internally.
My Fathers like this. Some days completely crazy with hallucinations that are unbelievable. Then he has an alert day and you think you have got it wrong. He is in care home but still tries to manipulate to get his own way. Hard to work it out
"room being different" etc. I am at wits end. SO exhausted. Care cannot come fast enough these days.
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