Has anyone else encountered these thoughts before?

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My mother passed on March 15th late at night. I had visited her the day before, but did not visit the day she passed. I thought she had some time left, so I wasn't there when she passed. It was a closed casket gravesite burial, so I never saw the body. The funeral home did not take a picture of her prior to burial. So I have these crazy thoughts like, did she really die? Maybe she is in the nursing home alive and well! Has anybody encountered these thoughts before? I guess I am having a hard time accepting she has passed and hope that maybe she is still alive. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks!

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I sleep alone in a queen size bed. I have a LOT of pillows so it almost seems there is another person in the bed. If I wake up to go to the bathroom I try to be very quiet so I don't disturb Coy. He died more than four years ago. I have never thought he is still alive, but old habits die hard!

For about two years after my father died I would stop at a display of jigsaw puzzles and wonder which one Dad would like. Last week some seasonal window clings caught my eye, for my mother's NH window. She died several months ago. I quickly realize my mistake and smile to myself. The habit of thinking of loved ones lasts a long time. I don't think it means we are in denial about their death.
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Bloomschool so sorry for your loss.  Although I haven't had thoughts that my Mom is alive but I can understand how they come about. 
Mom passed a year ago at 101.   I had been to visit her in the NH around 3pm and left about 5. She wasn't conscious and I knew she was dying (had been for a few weeks) but not certain how long it would be.   I received a call at 3am that next morning telling me she had passed. (My sister and I still feel guilty because we were not there with her at the end, even though she was not conscious.  I have night vision issues and lived too far to drive in the dark but Sis would have gone, had they called us sooner to let us know.)
No one in my family wants a viewing or open casket funeral even though its purpose is to give "closure" and a final good-bye.    The memory of that last week still haunts me and neither  Sis nor I (or family) wanted to remember her in a coffin (She was very vain about her appearance and we knew she would not have wanted anyone to see her.  She chose a closed casket for my father 40 years ago)  We had a cremation and memorial.
Maybe your thoughts of your Mom still being alive are from regret that you were not there at her passing and you are still in a period of mourning.  Its human nature to not want to accept a loved one is really gone.  I sometimes wake in the morning and think for a moment that Mom is still with us.   Just know she is in  heaven and she loved you and she knew you loved her and still do.
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Viewing of the body is a highly personal decision. When my mother died, her body was taken to the funeral home that would handle the cremation. The body was available for viewing by family for a couple of days. I think all 3 of my bothers did view it. They saw Mom infrequently before she died. I did not opt to view her, and I don't think any of my 3 sisters did. We were active in her care in the NH and we saw her very frequently while she was alive. We held that in our hearts.

I did view my father's body before it was cremated, many years ago. I don't think viewing or not viewing made any difference in my mourning. But that may not be true for everyone!
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Thanks for sharing. I suppose it's a personal thing. I have dreamed about my grandmother, who I did see her body in the casket, many times over the course of my life. I have always felt her presence with me, too. So, I'm not sure. I"m not sure what to think.

I had a dream about a friend and colleague who died two years ago, last week. The dream was so real that I almost called her widow to tell him, but, I wasn't sure if that was proper and didn't. I do think that on some level the spirit of a loved one is always there and will greet us one day. JMO.
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sunny - we had a viewing for my son, funeral and memorial servo=ice. I still thought I saw him many times and I believe that is not uncommon, but over a few years after he died that happened less often. With my father, who I did not see, I had many many dreams for years and years, and really thought he was still alive as I woke up. I do think had I seen him after death and/or gone to his funeral. I would not have had so many dreams.
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I've never thought about that before, but, since reading about this, I now wonder if I should see my LO that I care for after she passes away. She is now in the last stage of dementia. I had planned for an immediate and direct burial, since, there are no other family or friends, except for me and my parents. (Two of my brothers, who won't likely be available.) Now, I think that even though there will be no viewing, that I should view her. It makes me uncomfortable, but, I would hate to be unsettled about it. Even though you know it's true, I suppose your mind just won't let you accept it. Perhaps, there is a benefit to the viewing.
I have had dreams about people that I know are dead, but, in the dreams they are so much alive and real.  Who's to say what we encounter in our dreams.  Maybe, it's another dimension.  I just try to take solace that things are good when this happens and that they are looking down on me or sending me good thoughts.
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I answered this on another post .Yes I have - both about my dad who I did not see after death or go to his funeral. For years I dreamed that he was still alive and would wake up believing it for a few seconds and trying to figure it out. I also had some similar experiences with my son that died. I would see someone who looked like him and for a few seconds think it was him.

I think it is very normal It is just that you cannot get your heart and mind around the fact that she is gone from this world. (((((((hugs))))))
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Bloomschool, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. When my grandparents passed, I saw them after so did not have those thoughts. However I have had really severe anxiety, with some OCD-type thoughts/behaviors after. If I can tell myself, "this is just anxiety" some of the noisier thoughts will settle down. (It is probably better to talk to a therapist, but that's how I've handled it.)

I think you mentioned that a mix-up happened before and I could see how that would happen with paperwork, or a phone call, but with something like this, the staff would hopefully take extra time and care to make sure. There is more than just the nursing home involved. The person who comes to transfer the person has a protocol they have to follow too, so hopefully they would check and double check.

Honestly, though, I totally understand how those thoughts would be overwhelming. Were you at the facility after to talk to staff or to clean up her things? If so, you can trust your impression at the time. Or is there a shift where you were more familiar with one of the staff? Could you just "stop in" for a visit and mention to them you are having a hard time. I'm sure they would be ok with you walking past the room. People have all different ways of handling grief and I think they would understand that.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Moms are the best and my heart aches for you. Your mom sounds like a really special person, and it sounds like you two were good to each other, and like she knew you loved her a lot.

It has only been a short time, and you are dealing with a lot. Try to go easy on yourself.
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So sorry for your loss. I would think ur feelings are normal. I have never had this experience, maybe another member can help you.
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