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Hey everyone - random question, but curious how universal this is. I've been noticing how much time goes into just... helping my parents use their phone.
Scam calls, texts they can't figure out, apps that look totally different after an update. I'm playing around with an idea to make this less painful, and before I build anything I'd rather hear real stories than guess.
If you've ever played phone support for a parent, I'd love to hear:
What's a recent moment where tech got in the way of you two actually talking? (the messier the better)
What have you actually tried to fix it - new phone, a visit, hiring someone, anything - and did it work?
Rough guess: how much time or money does this eat up for you? How frustrating do you scale this from 1-10 (10 being most frustrating)?
Totally fine to only answer one of these, or just vent below even if you skip them all.
If you don't mind sharing, I'm also curious how old your parent is and what they're using (iPhone, flip phone, tablet, whatever).
Not selling anything, genuinely just trying to understand the real problem before I waste time building the wrong thing.
Thanks for reading 🙏

90-year-old mother, DVR she had had for ten years… I should get a sainthood for talking her through a reboot over the phone. 10 of 10 frustration level on that one.

I took photos of all her remotes, so I could tell her which buttons to push over the phone. A smart phone/cell phone would have been hopeless, so I set her up with a VOIP service I could monitor and screen remotely.

Her last year or so, an ultra-basic TV remote with only on/off and volume control, and TV locked onto one channel. She still regularly managed to mess up the TV inputs so nothing worked and someone had to go unwind and reset it all.

Yet, she could work an iPad with very few problems.

I am of the “boomer” generation, but worked in high tech, often cutting edge, all my life.
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Reply to Goddatter
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I am 66 yrs old and took care of both of my parents till they took their last breathes They were divorced so it was done separate and thank God at different times. I also work as a home health caregiver and have been in the medical field since I was 15 yrs old and still work in this field The phone is a hair pulling situation with all the scammers and trying to keep them safe from any harm I also had a 97 yr young Aunt who stayed stressed over scammers calling Answering machines do help for some and Most cell phones now have a way of letting people know that the call is a potential scammer The only issue there is if the phone number is new it will come up as a scammer Its scary thinking they will give a stranger their personal information. We would tell my Aunt if you dont know the number dont answer it let the voicemail get it but she would answer anyway One day she screamed at me and told me never to call her number again not realizing it was me It kept her stressed out Depending on their health issues I can tell you it's easier to hire private health care in the home than for family members I've had families amazed at the things I could get them to do and not do then their own children could Always remember you have to let them believe it was their ideal not yours Its a dignity thing with elderly patients Noone wants to be told what to do when you get to that age Best of luck to you. If you have any particular questions feel free to reply and I will try to give you the answers Through The Years there's not much I haven't been through taking care of elderly people but I truly enjoy what I do
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Reply to MissTMG
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The Boomers will be the last technologically clueless generation. Or at least the Gen Xers won't be as bad. I'm 67 and my career required me to stay current on technology -- thankfully, so I won't be torturing my kids with my tech neediness. My Mom is 97 and never had to learn how to use a computer and didn't want to spend the money on a smart phone or tablet. She had a flip phone.

About 8 years ago I gave her my old iPad with games on it and she still uses it every day. When she finally broke her flip phone I got her a RAZ Mobility phone so that I could stop her from calling every customer service number accusing them of making crappy products when in fact her increasing dementia and memory loss was causing her to forget how to operate them. She was also calling and cancelling the doctor appointments I made for her.

The RAZ phone does not connect to the internet but it looks like a smart phone. It's too big for a small woman to put in her pocket but that's so the large screen can show pictures of her contacts. It also is too easy to accidentally press 911. I would love it if I could text or FaceTime her on it since she doesn't always put in her hearing aids. I wish it had it's own bag or sling because I want my Mom to always have it on her, but it's too big.

In spite of its shortcomings I have no regrets getting her that phone.
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Reply to Geaton777
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finlaycrasnier 11 hours ago
This is really useful, thanks - hadn't come across RAZ at all.

The bit that got me was why you bought it. Not so she could reach you, but to stop her cancelling appointments and ringing customer service. i had it completely backwards, i assumed the problem was people not being able to get through.

few things if you don't mind:

how often was the appointment cancelling happening, and what did it take to unpick each time?

was there a specific moment where you went "right, i'm buying something"? or did it just build up?

and how often does a call not happen because the hearing aids aren't in?

on the boomer point - you might well be right, and honestly it's the bit that worries me most. though my dad's 60, completely capable, and just won't use anything new. and dementia doesn't care how good you were with tech at 50. no clean answer from me though.

the ipad thing is great btw. 8 years, every day, at 97. wondering if it's because games can't really go wrong, so nothing ever needed locking down.

thanks again ! :)
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Once you build the right thing, are you going to sell it?
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finlaycrasnier 12 hours ago
If it can help other people, I don't see a reason why not :)

i've built a prototype solution for my dad which he likes, but I don't know if it's something that effects just our family or a bigger demographic (hence this post!)
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