I am one of four adult children of my 92 year old mom who now has dementia. I have lived with her for the past 19 years as has my brother, who is on social security for being disabled mentally. He is paranoid of everything, so therefore has never been able to work. I love my mother very much. She means the world to me and I have tried my very best , especially over the last 10 years, to care for her in the best way I know how. I take her out every morning to her favorite coffee place, I cook all her meals, take her to all of her doctor's appointments, take her on a summer vacation with her two dogs who she can't live without, clean the house, etc.etc.. My brother who lives here does next to nothing to help me. Once in a blue moon he takes out the trash cans and that is about it. He has become more and more angry and nasty and hates the world and it gets harder and harder to live with him. My other brother doesn't do anything to help me either. He gets mad over the slightest things, like my mom's dogs who he doesn't like, and then uses that as an excuse not to come over or do anything. My sister has done a little to help, but really not much at all. They all act like this is my total responsibility and that our mother is just mine when it comes to helping her. I have paid for many house repairs on my own over the last few years. The brother who lives with us pays very little to us each month and every month he has another excuse why he can't pay. It's hell trying to get the money from him. I'm so tired out and so sick of it!!
I guess my question is, how do I care for my mom and do my best when I am constantly upset by my crazy sibling who won't cooperate? How do I get past the anger that I am getting NO help from anyone? Does anyone else have a similar experience and how do you or how did you deal with it?? I know that I must accept that it is like I am an only child, but I really resent it.