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As Mom's caregiver, I have the pleasure of helping her with her shower each night. She procrastinates, telling me, "I need a treat" or "just a few more minutes" which turns into 30 minutes or so. I really just want some time to myself...then I feel like I'm being really selfish, as she's at day care while I'm at work. Any suggestions? I feel like this should be on my terms, am I being selfish?

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Roxanne, I know how you feel. Now that it is staying light longer, my mother is staying outside in the afternoon. This pushes dinner back an hour, so cuts into my evening time. This is when I do most of my own work, play with my rabbit, and watch some TV on the computer. When I cook dinner late, it is like I'm having to work an extra hour. It throws my own schedule off. In my case I can readjust my schedule, because I work at home. In your case, it isn't as simple. You have my sympathy.
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I would think about hiring an agency to come come and help with the shower and a few other thing that you need help with. I would also try forgetting about the nightly shower. Or tell mom what time the shower will be. Make the preparations and if she is more than 5 minutes late, tell her sorry, won't be able to do it tonight. Continue this for a week or so, and she should get the message sooner or later.
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You are SO NOT SELFISH!
It is fair to do things on your terms and timeline
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Roxanne if she wants to have a shower everyday it's her choice but it can't be you doing it. It's all good to feel you want time to yourself Roxanne you have that right please don't feel guilty, I should take my own advice never do just vent on here. lol SENDING YOU A REALLY BIG HUG
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Captain, she was showering every day before she went to nursing care. Then when she was there, they would allow her to take a shower 3 times a week. When she moved in with us, she told me that she wanted to shower every day. I've been trying to accommodate her wishes, so no, I'm not imposing my view on her, she's calling the shots when it comes to taking a shower, as she's lost the ability to call the shots for so many other aspects of her life!
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a shower every night is freaking overkill probably based on nonsense you learned in health class in grade school .. its not like your mom is drilling dynamite holes in a coal mine every day..
dont mean to sound snotty , its just that your imposing your view on someone much older with her own ideas that have worked for a long time.
i wear the same work jeans for 3-4 days at a time. when i put on clean ones and fire up the stone saw and im covered in dust in 30 seconds i have to wonder why the he** i put on clean clothes this morning..
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