Anyone deal with an overzealous nurse?

What other anti anxiety meds can they try? Klonopin? Can they use a bipap machine?

stressed, say yes to the roxanol. It makes things less horrible to watch. It is not a lethal dose, just a comfortable one.

Thank you TooYoung, that was informative. And thank you Churchmouse, for the support. I think you hit the nail on the head. Every single bit of info is relayed second hand from any number of nurses and aides on duty, to the hospice head, and then from her to the Doctor. A little bit of input from me, from others, and you have a mess. I just ran into her Dr on the way out and she was very concerned and said she needed to know my thoughts, not just for me and mom, but to help others who might come along with similar situations. She suggested she, I, and the Hospice head sit down and discuss. Maybe we'll get a plan in order that works.
We all have to remember I think, that family members can be difficult to work with for a variety of reasons, but when you add that they are getting conflicting and confusing input from each nurse on each shift, it can add to the stress dramatically. And when the Dr asked, I realized that by me verbally telling them who helps, and who might be steering the boat off course, it wasn't to get someone in trouble (which was my first thought) it was just to keep a 5 star facility just that. Just always have to be mindful of how we word things. Meaning well and doing well aren't always the same thing.
I'll get thru this, as will Mom. But it sure helps to have this sounding board

Stressed, so feeling for you. ((((Hugs))))

To pamstegma I did say yes to the morphine, probably wrote it in another post, but it was a bad experience. It made her like a wide awake loudmouth drunk. She went from almost unconscious to up in her chair moaning and yelling. It was given through a breathing mask and the nurse said in that form it wouldn't cross the brain network and make her loopy. We both looked at each other when it took effect and I said, 'You sure about that??' We both had to laugh because it was so ridiculous. That was the last laugh I had because they've kept her shut down on Xanax since then. So morphine, or roxanol, may be different for each person, and I'm hoping they have something else to 'comfort' her when she needs it. Keeping someone unconscious when they're not in pain, just anxious, isn't easy to watch. Isn't there a quote somewhere about Dieing is a hard business or something?

stressed123, Wow I never saw morphine do that to someone. I'm thinking they gave her a bronchodilator too, which can be a powerful stimulant. So sorry you are going through a rough road with this.

cetude, not everyone can be home 24/7 with the patient. Been there and could not have done it alone.

Thanks pamstegma for the support. No, not everyone is able to do it at home. I did it for four years but as I am disabled it became too much when she needed more physical help with bathing, etc. Sometimes people don't think when they rattle off an answer. That's what's good about this site, mostly supportive.
So anyway, after seeing her doctor today when I came out of the SNF and she asked how it was going, I voiced my concerns and questions. When I went in this evening to visit with my mom she was up and coherent! They hadn't dosed her! I can't tell you what a roller coaster ride this feels like. I mentioned the nurse that seems so gung ho w the meds to her Dr, and idk if she said something to the staff or if mom just had a good day but they didn't dose her with the Xanax and she was fine. We went to the cafeteria, in her wheelchair, and had a nice conversation and everything. This is what makes all these decisions so difficult! When I arrive at the SNF and she's unconscious and the nurse is pushing for morphine and Norco and Xanax and telling me how they're trying to make her more comfortable, and then when she's not dosed she's up and okay. She has never, ever complained of pain. I realize she has cancer, and she's 96, and she does get anxious. But it was a relief to know that the idea that she was being overmedicated wasn't all in my head. Thanks for 'listening'

Oh, and no, no bronchodilator was added :-/