Have no family here and am myself coping with COPD. He is blind, incontinent, has to be dressed, and absolutely refuses to discuss leaving home for any reason. He also has prostate cancer, which was being treated, but I can no longer get him to his doctor for his quarterly treatment.
With regard to getting him in for treatment, what does the doctor suggest? Can you get an ambulette to take him? Don't discuss, just "oh look, the nice ambulette driver is here." With my elderly mother, discussion always leads to "no". Either pose questions as a forced choice ( this or that), or simple present things as a fit accompli. If the problem is bigger than that and he gets agitated and angry, he needs meds. Call his doctor and involve him in the problem...and the solution.