Anybody else alone?

I make the beds and all but I've said something and argued before because I'm so overwhelmed and my dad always says ,"somebody wants to be back on the streets", (I was homeless for 3 years before I moved in ) so I just keep doing it all, can't get a job right now because I've been out of work so long now, but I do pray a lot for strength and it gives me peace at times but sometimes I feel like it's too much, I can't do meetings because my dad gets mad when I leave. 😕

Brianna , I don't know you but I am so very proud of you. A wonderful daughter, sister...mom of two.. With a bright future ahead. Talk to the local agency on aging first... They can start you in the right direction and talk to the others with love on how you can pull together as a team. Get into a prayer group for support and the meetings are a great idea if you have child care . Maybe you can get a grant to do hairstyling and that is a career that you can do at home while your kids are growing. Nails, makeup, hair can be a woman owned business. There are grants for that . The aging agency or Dept of agency will help you get help at home . Show love to those involved. Arguments will not get results. I know.. Because I live it, myself but I'm much older carding for my parents that live with me . You are a diamond with a beautiful heart, Brianna... Step into God's grace and He will send help!!! Take a deep breath, get some exercise... Even if you do a class on TV or YouTube. Maybe your kids would like to join in if they're old enough. What the devil means for harm, our Lord will turn it to good. Attacks will come.. Arguments.. Stress, financial problems.. Depression, anxiety... Sickness but God says... Fear not!!!!

You are way too young to be saddled with this responsibility. There are many of us who get no help from anyone else to care for someone else. We are the only ones who can change the situation. We need to do what is best for us. Take care of yourself. Move out as soon as possible. This will give you some room to breathe. Without you in the house see what happens. You can still help but not to the point of ruining your life. Enjoy your youth as it is precious. Hang in there. You are not alone.

Make a calendar-type list with chores assigned, post it on the fridge. Stop doing anything that the boys can do, such as laundry, dishes, trash and re-cycling out, vacuming, window washing, car wash, lawn mowing, watering outside, mop the floors-the list is endless.
If the assigned chores are undone, stop cooking for them. Just cook for Mom, then you and the kids,(only your kids) go out for McD's on the night that everything ends up undone and something is gonna happen. Maybe they will take Dad out for dinner? Uh oh, did you forget to write down two days a week when it is: "You're on your own night."????

There are so many in your household, it just happens that way when there is no leader. Hire a housekeeper also, everyone pays. You don't have to do it all yourself, but someone has to organize everyone else. Then rotate chores. Is there a technical person who can draw up a flow-chart? Everyone does make their own bed, right? Otherwise, kick them to the curb.

brianna24...i reread your post and you've been clean 2 yrs! that's really great, and i would suggest you go to meetings and share about what is going on in your life.. it feels like you're cleansing your soul when you do this....and stop being so strong! ask what you want from your family and CRY!!! i was sober and clean for 18 yrs...and i wouldn't have been able to stay sober and strong without those meetings!! there you will meet others like you and you will be able to have friends that understand....and hopefully learn how they got thru similar problems!! just airing your woes is SUCH A RELIEF...just like posting on this board but even better because it's shared with others!! It's a great start for you!

More not note lol

Yes they've been waited on hand and foot by my mom and they won't help I e asked, I actually pay 200 note in rent then my brother who is 23 ah I mean its nice to be able to spend all this time with my mom but I have no life, I'm tied to this house. I have no one to talk to about anything and its just been such a strain on me thanks yall

SO glad you have been successful at getting clean! Good on you! And a great gift to your family. But please understand, one rarely gets into drugs or substance abuse, unless there are triggers prodding them.
USUALLY, there is family dysfunction, too, which helps push that button.
OFTEN, the others who are doing nothing to help, learned how to be that way.
These need to be taught how to help, maybe in baby-steps, so it's not so hard, then slowly add a bit more they can do...otherwise, if it seems too hard, they give up too easy.
Family meetings are really a good thing sometimes.
Making a list of tasks that routinely need done, really helps. Can post that on the refrigerator, and, list who to help with what, when.

Trying to get family members who can, to help, even with small things like taking the trash out once a week, helps them learn to be better people, too.
Letting them know how thankful you are for their help in getting things done, is a good idea, too. People need to hear that their contributions are appreciated, especially during hard times; it helps cope.
And can make you feel a bit better, too, just for telling them.

And try to get some home-help, as well. Check with your local Area Agency on Aging, or Social Services. See what might be available to help in the home, towards getting tasks done, and lightening your load.

Please keep us posted, too, on your progress! We're all here because we've walked the caregiver path.
Sharing what works, helps others.
Meanwhile, keep it in your heart, that you have achieved much, and have much yet to achieve. Hold onto your dreams, and take some small steps to achieve those. You are on a great path. Learning to be proactive in your life helps you, and helps others. Keep up the good work!

Find out what makes you happy and start a hobby. It can be therapeutic - knitting, sewing, collecting, picture albums, bible verses, journal, diary, training family in caregiving, playing games, puzzles, etc.

from someone who is much older than you and takes care of both parents...i know that this situation will never change. those lazy asses have gotten use to your mother waiting on them hand and foot...are don't care that she's not well...they are not going to care if you are overwhelmed even if you tell them! try to get out of there....if you can!? good luck...

IF your other family members are NOT sick and are NOT disabled, make them a list of things they can do (take out garbage, do laundry, run vaccum, etc) and you take care of the personal issues with your mom. You did good by getting clean, but don't let everyone else take advantage of you. You are NOT alone, sometimes in families, everyone seems to think that one person can do it all while they just sit by. have a family meeting. good luck

Congratulations on your success....and helping your mom...now get some help for you, I agree, meetings, meetings. Talk with God. Keep in touch here. Linda

You need to see if you qualify for medicaid for your mom. If so then you can get some help of 15 hours a week with a caregiver who helps you with your mom. Showers and washing her clothes, cooking for her. This might take time for you to get approved. But look into it and see what benefits you can get for them. Plus your dad if he was military. There is a lot or help out there. You just have to look for it. Even church has people who help people out like you. Keep clean and stay focus because God see's everything your doing for everyone. Remember he gives us what he knows we can handle. This might just be a test for you. Good luck and God Bless. Don't cry. Buck up! Life is too short. You will feel good about everything you did years to come. Your young and healthy and you can do it. God Bless.

Funny, I just had this conversation yesterday with a friend whose husband is sick and daughter has MS. She feels like she does everything--and she does. Me,too. My husband is sick and I do everything.

It is only natural that people only do what they must. But you are too young for this. Sit your family members down and let them know that work must be shared. Make a list--a real list of the true amount of work--it will surprise them! Then, ask for help in sharing the load.

And get out to meetings!!!!! You can't imagine how it will help. There are others in the rooms who are in your situation. Meet people; go for coffee! I go to a meeting every day! I am not in good shape if I start missing. Honestly!

Big hug!!!!!

Yes, you've given your mom the greatest gift by getting clean. Please start or continue with NA or AA meetings, though. Using their program can help you cope with nearly anything in life.

Your brothers must be old enough to help to some degree but if they haven't been trained to help it's probably going to be hard to make them. I wouldn't do things for them that they can do for themselves.

If your dad is healthy, he should also be helping. It sounds as if you are being taken advantage of since your are the "girl." Also, if you are living rent free, your dad may feel that you "owe" them.

Try to have a family meeting of some type to see if you can get them to understand that everyone pulling together will make it better for the whole family.

You may want to seek the help of a family counseling service for more support. Many are free or use a sliding scale.

Good luck, Brianna. You are strong. We all need the support of others. Please let us know how you are doing.
Carol

Watching your kid get clean is a prayer answered, a dream come true. I am so happy for her to be able to see it happen. Know that you have made a difference, and maybe someday you can be a sponsor. Go to a meeting. Share that story, it may turn the page for someone else.

I've been clean for 2 years , its more watching my mom suffer its making me sad

Even after you get clean, the depression can pursue you for months. That is why it is important to go to the AA or NA meetings each month. You will find out that you are not alone, get good support and a lifeline when you need one.