Anybody else alone?

Yes, I worked in a nursing home for hospice before and told myself I'd never have my mom there, I actually quit and reported abuse on the place I was at because they're aweful and treat them so terribly, heartbreaking

Try to figure out how to love what you do and you do because they are your loved ones and without you where would they be. My Mom is 88 and my sister put her in a nursing center in s corner bed with two roommates and won't allow me to try to care for her. I look at you as blessed and a blessing to your family household. I'm 54 and never used drugs in my life but my sister POA still denies me my Mom and in home care. You are blessed in your own family household. There are many that wish they had a household and someone to care for them. Thank God you can keep them out of an understaffed and underpaid nursing center .

It's hard and I know exactly how you feel. I'm a single mom with 3 kids and I'm taking care of my 88 year old grandfather. I was taking care of both my grand parents but my grandma went to the hospital and came home on hospice and past away a few weeks later. I found her in her room and I wake up everyday not knowing if I'll find my grandpa the same way. I run a business out of the house and I'm trying to go to school that way when my grandpa does pass I can try to get a decent job. I'm thankful that mygrandpa isn't in a lot of pain but I do have to watch him suffer everyday just being in the house. He was always independent and loved the outdoors. His memory is fading so when he asks me daily why he is here and why can't he go somewhere it's painful emotionally. I'm supposed to be the strong one to and I hated crying in front of anyone but it was happening so often that I couldn't hide in my room that much. I just cried whenever I needed to. If the kids asked I was just honest with them and said mom has a lot of things she is dealing with right now and it's a little hard for mommy. I tell them it's ok to cry when we are sad, angry mad etc... That it's a way for our bodies to help with our emotions. And then I try to destruct myself with something like a walk out take the kids for a bike ride or color. It is hard and I know it will only get harder till it's over. And then a new journey will begin with its own kind of trial but showing your kids to be caring compassionate people who are capable of showing there feeling is priceless. It's good to vent. Hope this helps.

Typo I is have.

How many people and ages make up your household? I you tried churches. Sometimes churches have volunteers that are willing to lend a helping hand or maybe social service agencies have ideas . Keep your options open and you have to always find the best in everything and keep smiling above all.😀 You are Outstanding 🏆

My daughters milk
Kids cereal
Make my dad's lunch
Take kids to school
Clean up the kitchen bathroom living room
Kids room dads room
Afternoon: mom's medication
Laundry
Make mom and I lunch
Laundry (everyone's)
Groceries
Put groceries away
Pick daughter up
Start dinner
Pick son up
Feed them
Clean up again
Dads and bros dinner
Clean up
Night: moms medicine
Sons medicine
Giv mom bath
Kids bath
Get everyone settld for bed
And sleep till 5am when the cycle starts again.
Not to mention my pup and birds I deal with too, idk what else I could possibly do

Here is a list of my daily routine
Morning:
Moms medicine
Sons medicine
Moms coffee
My coffee

Are you kidding, I don't understand how you can write this to this young mother doing the best she can! And none of it makes sense any way!! Did you reread your post before posting it??

Brianna24 you must get on a routine and schedule that makes everyone happy. If you have to do something that makes someone else happy to get a favor in return that might work. What can you do to get a favor in return that doesn't exhaust you so much. Can you take on getting their groceries, etc. What do they need that will give you a break?

Thank you ☺ my kids are too young my daughter is 5 and my son is 4 and he has cerebral palsy, my dad and brothers excuse is they work and I don't so it is what it is. It's hard, especially emotionally knowing my mom hasn't much time left

Brianna, what a great job you have already done by getting and staying clean!!! I have a family member on that road and it's harder than many want to accept, so KUDOS to you. I agree with the others, make a list up and start assigning names to it...if you want have people pick the chores they are willing to do, the rest assign them equally around and make them accountable! Then get every one to sign on for what is the response when they don't do the chore they sign up for....for the kids it may be no video games etc. In a family everyone must help to their ability...even the younger ones. I was 7 when my mom fell and hurt her back and I cooked for the whole family and my brother 11 did all the laundry and the vacuuming....even if it's just dusting, everyone should pull together. Blessings to you, Lindaz

That's the best way to respond, good for you

I try, I never say anything back I just roll with it

Then tune him out, ignore him when ever possible.

Yes, my mom understands and is always apologizing but my dad doesnt listen

You are a great daughter and Mom to your kids. Have you mentioned to your mom or your dad how these words hurt you ?

My kids are treated very well, its just me. And i dont want my mom to suffer, its worth the time i get with her

Brianna - why don't you stop paying rent? What will they do/how will they care for your mother without you? You MUST find a way to change this hellish situation that you and your 2 children are in.

I have compared my life to me being a slave and I pay them lol its very sad so laughing keeps me from crying

Actually, they should be giving you some slack on the rent because of your caregiving, and they are almost certainly underpaying/overcharging if you compared what you are doing to a paid caregiver. Maybe they are still punishing you for your addiction, and/or taking advantage of your lesser current prospect for employment, which is as wrong as it could be. No one should be 24 x 7 x 365 as a caregiver, paid or not. They need to build in some respite as well as allowing for your meetings that you need; they may treat you either like family or like hired help, but not like an infinitely abusable indentured servant or slave as they seem to be doing.

We all have to uphold each other😊

Sometimes i feel like im losing it, but i just cant bring myself to leave my mom, i would feel awful if something happened when i wasnt there ya know? Honestly just being able to talk to others like now is a weight sort of lifted from my shoulders. So thank you all for the advise and letting me vent to yall, ive got no life so almost no social interactions ☺

dam...ex addict living in streets for 3 years...2 children! now...living at home with extremely abusive living conditions!!! wow...i'm at a loss for words!!! i hope you find your way out of the hell hole you're in...but it seems to me...that if you don't go to meetings...get out for that hour no matter what...or you just might lose your mind!! ugh keep us posted!!

I agree, you must take care of YOU first.

you should tell your dad that you NEED to go to those special meetings, otherwise you might be back out on the street. I don't know where you live but maybe there is a homeless shelter that you could stay at for awhile until you get a job. sometimes they even help you get jobs so you can get stabilized. I wish you luck, and like someone else said, it sounds like a toxic environment which isn't good for anyone.

Actually it's my mom who's sick, my dad's fine 😕

Brianna, your a good girl and I am proud of you. Try to think that when your father says anything negative to you its because he is sick and really is in a mental stage that doesn't even realize that he is hurting you. My mother is the same way with me and it breaks my heart. But I am older now and just know that my mother didn't have a good up bringing. Which is why your dad lashes out at you. He knows no better but what he has been raised with. I pray all goes well for you Brianna. I bet your a pretty young good looking women and in the future I hope you find your perfect prince to treat you right. Good Luck and God Bless

Brianna,

Explain to your dad how important the meetings are and get a sponsor. Call your sponsor every day. That will be a big help. And read the literature. Do you have a Big Book?

Remember to focus on gratitude!!!! Gratitude can really save the day.

Big hug!

brianna, the more you wrote, the more I understood. I have a feeling that the home environment is a toxic one for you. You may need to be there right now, but when someone says something aimed at your character, know that it is them and not you. That anger is not good for you, so just know that it is not you. It does sound to me that it would be good for you to get away from it as soon as you can. There are people there that can cover the things that need to be done and you can help find resources for your parents. Maybe a good place to start would be to call in a social worker to find out what resources are available.

And when your father says something like you're going back to the street, just answer him that no, you're going to start a good life for yourself, but you'll still be there to check in on them. My greatest worry for you is the loss of esteem and the anger that goes with living in a toxic environment will pull you back down to where you were. Don't let that happen. (It can happen. I used to smoke, but quit. Sometimes I get so angry that it makes me want to go buy cigarettes. I have to tell myself no, that I'm not going to let this hurt me like that. There are better ways to deal with the anger and hurt of a toxic environment. Hurting myself more seems not a good idea.)

Hope your dad learns to be supportive rather than critical of you. Keep up your help, and say a prayer or more to your Heavenly Father who loves you unconditionally. Life is difficult sometimes!