My sister has seen my mom a total of about 3 days in all of 2019. She decided to come down this weekend and to bring her husband and teenage son. They fly for free b/c her husband is a pilot so hopping on a plane is no big deal for them.
My relationship with both of my siblings is very strained at this point, mostly on my end due to my resentment. I absolutely hate that I resent them so much, but while they both continue to live their lives, fully, my life is ruled by my needy mother next door. Not only do they keep their safe distance from my mother, but since all of this they have proven not to care about my well-being either. I think I talked to my sister on the phone twice this year. She prefers the occasional text. "How's mom?" "Keep me posted" that kind of thing.
So when I was informed by my mom that my sister was making a visit I thought I could just lay low and she could do her 2 days with my mom. Then I find out she's bringing the family. That means they will need to use my guest room. Then yesterday when my husband was driving my mom to an appointment for new tires on her car my mom asks him if he will pick them up from the airport tonight at about 9PM. Initially he said he would, but when he got home I could tell he was not happy about it.
I don't drive in the dark, and by 9PM we are almost ready for bed. An Uber which they can afford would be less than $20. So I told him to tell her he didn't want to do it, which he did when they were driving back to pick up her car. (My husband owned a car repair business so he takes care of all the car stuff). Glad I wasn't there or I guarantee I would have gotten a crappy line back for the decline.
I have not had a single conversation with my sister about any of this, none. She hasn't called me at all. Yet, the expectations are there. My mom is planning that we will all have dinners together, etc.
I don't want to see them at all. I need a mood adjustment fast. One side of me feels like I should just suck it up so my mom has a better visit, but then that resentful side wants nothing to do with it. I feel the "right" thing to do is to suck it up.
Guess it's time for me to buy a big bottle of wine. Any other suggestions?