I was a long distance caregiver for my folks for 6 years. Mom passed last year and dad is still in memory care 12 hours away. It was a challenge to say the least.
I wonder if if you could be more specific in your question. I could write a book on the subject.
I live in MN and my 2 aunts that I'm PoA for live in FL in their home. One is 97 and has total dementia but is very mobile and healthy. Her 100 yr old sister takes care of her. She has all her mind, uses a walker but is healthy. To honor their wishes to stay in their home I have done the following over time:
- enlist neighbors, friends, church and any local relatives to keep tabs on them. I have their mobiles and they have mine. I incentivize them to take them out socially or drive them to appts by gifting them G.C.s to restaurants where they are the guests. My aunts have humble means but they too will often pay for the meals.
- we finally convinced my aunt to allow Visiting Angels to come in and help. At first it took 6 months to convince them to have a companion. We had to work through a few to find the right fit but now they just adore her.
- I seniorized their house for safety. Lots of resources available on how to do this.
- worked on simplifying or making life convenient: they have 2 cats so I introduced them to PrettyLitter which gets changed only once a month and changes color if the cat develops health problems. No smell, a great product. Subscribe to amazon prime and have as much stuff delivered as possible, especially heavy stuff. Use PillPack if they have to manage meds. Hired neighborhood kids for basic yard work. Got them a raised garden box so they could still plant herbs and such. Whatever you can think of to make both of your lives easier.
- Convince the 100 y,.o. finally to wear a life alert necklace and have her practice the protocol when anyone is visiting.
- made sure I had the durable PoA and was joint on critical accts so I can monitor things and help them pay bills. Made as many auto pay as possible.
- subscribed to interesting mags and newspapers for their entertainment (and cable tv). My aunt with dementia loves cat mags
- convinced them to order high quality microwaveable meals for when they don't feel like cooking or can't get out (like after a recent hurricane)
- got all their sensitive and important paperwork scanned & locked up in a fireproof file to protect them from misplaced items or financial elder abuse.
- know all the names of their docs, clinics, healthcare info and had them authorize me as their medical advocate so the docs would release the info to me. Know what prescriptions they are on and what pharmacy they use.
- call them frequently to get a read on their cognitive levels and also just to enjoy talking with them.
- visit once a month. Look for signs of needs or changes.
- I keep sending out their address and phone number to all the relatives to remind them to write and call them.
There's more but this is plenty for now. It's a lot of work at first but then it pays off in organization, peace of mind and quality of life.
They picked the right person to take responsibility are are very fortunate to have you! We do many of those things but I wasn't even remembering them when I thought about it here until reading your response. I guess some of these things have just become part of the fabric of our lives.
We do this with my mom. I live about 4.5 - 5 hrs away and one of my brothers lives about a 1/2 hr drive, he is in the same state as mom and we split responsibilities as well as oversight. I am able to take care of ordering meds and incontinence supplies among other things from home, I also do forms, communicate with doctors through her My Chart system and make calls, coordinate anything that can be done on-line or on the phone and take care od advertising and pre-screening renters for the rooms upstairs. The brother who lives closest does most of the doctors appointments (I make trips down sometimes to cover these but less now than I used to) and house care. But we track mom, particularly checking to make sure she has taken meds and is eating/getting fluids and is ok electronically. We have a camera above her Medicine Table which holds her med dispenser (one that only gives her the meds she is due to take then, bro fills it every couple weeks) and filled syringes that also sees her larger table where she conducts most of her day (in front of the futon couch she also sleeps on (don't get me started). She also has an Echo Show on her big table in that room and one in the kitchen and of course her cell phone as well as an emergency call button that calls each of us first twice and then 911 (we can program it any way we choose). One of us checks in each morning and evening around the time her pills reveal themselves and the alarms to take them go off, if she hasn't taken them we call her and if she doesn't answer the phone we "drop in" on the Echo. The camera saves 24 hrs worth of clips each time it's set off by motion so we can go back and see when she might have done something or how her day or night went. We also have a camera over the parking lot that alerts us when someone drives in and now a Ring doorbell as well. She has rearranged her room a bit and we are talking about getting another inside camera but so far this has all worked well for us. One of us talks to her every day and she still feels independent.
This depends on how much "care" the person needs. If it is just a check in once in a while maybe arrange a Meals on Wheels to be delivered. This way the person gets a visit and a meal. If it to manage medications, assist in ADL's (activities of daily living) then you need to hire someone to be there daily. If it is to bring them to a Dr apt there are Geriatric Care Managers that will do this and report back to you. Adult Day Care is a great option for some. If the person is a Veteran the resources through the VA are great. (Go to Great Lakes, I think it is less busy than the VA in Cook County){{Read your profile you are not far from me and I have used Great Lakes}} If you are trying to help people encourage them to contact Hospice to have their loved one evaluated to determine if they would qualify. The help that Hospice can provide early on is invaluable. A great resource for you also would be Elderwerks. They have an awesome resource book that covers almost all of Illinois. (just "google" Elderwerks) They are having a Resource Fair at McHenry County College August 14, from 8 to 3 lots of great information.
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I wonder if if you could be more specific in your question. I could write a book on the subject.
- enlist neighbors, friends, church and any local relatives to keep tabs on them. I have their mobiles and they have mine. I incentivize them to take them out socially or drive them to appts by gifting them G.C.s to restaurants where they are the guests. My aunts have humble means but they too will often pay for the meals.
- we finally convinced my aunt to allow Visiting Angels to come in and help. At first it took 6 months to convince them to have a companion. We had to work through a few to find the right fit but now they just adore her.
- I seniorized their house for safety. Lots of resources available on how to do this.
- worked on simplifying or making life convenient: they have 2 cats so I introduced them to PrettyLitter which gets changed only once a month and changes color if the cat develops health problems. No smell, a great product. Subscribe to amazon prime and have as much stuff delivered as possible, especially heavy stuff. Use PillPack if they have to manage meds. Hired neighborhood kids for basic yard work. Got them a raised garden box so they could still plant herbs and such. Whatever you can think of to make both of your lives easier.
- Convince the 100 y,.o. finally to wear a life alert necklace and have her practice the protocol when anyone is visiting.
- made sure I had the durable PoA and was joint on critical accts so I can monitor things and help them pay bills. Made as many auto pay as possible.
- subscribed to interesting mags and newspapers for their entertainment (and cable tv). My aunt with dementia loves cat mags
- convinced them to order high quality microwaveable meals for when they don't feel like cooking or can't get out (like after a recent hurricane)
- got all their sensitive and important paperwork scanned & locked up in a fireproof file to protect them from misplaced items or financial elder abuse.
- know all the names of their docs, clinics, healthcare info and had them authorize me as their medical advocate so the docs would release the info to me. Know what prescriptions they are on and what pharmacy they use.
- call them frequently to get a read on their cognitive levels and also just to enjoy talking with them.
- visit once a month. Look for signs of needs or changes.
- I keep sending out their address and phone number to all the relatives to remind them to write and call them.
There's more but this is plenty for now. It's a lot of work at first but then it pays off in organization, peace of mind and quality of life.
If it is just a check in once in a while maybe arrange a Meals on Wheels to be delivered. This way the person gets a visit and a meal.
If it to manage medications, assist in ADL's (activities of daily living) then you need to hire someone to be there daily.
If it is to bring them to a Dr apt there are Geriatric Care Managers that will do this and report back to you.
Adult Day Care is a great option for some.
If the person is a Veteran the resources through the VA are great. (Go to Great Lakes, I think it is less busy than the VA in Cook County){{Read your profile you are not far from me and I have used Great Lakes}}
If you are trying to help people encourage them to contact Hospice to have their loved one evaluated to determine if they would qualify. The help that Hospice can provide early on is invaluable.
A great resource for you also would be Elderwerks. They have an awesome resource book that covers almost all of Illinois. (just "google" Elderwerks) They are having a Resource Fair at McHenry County College August 14, from 8 to 3 lots of great information.