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My friend Ray had his CA license suspended by the DMV because of dementia yet still insists on driving. After speaking with a nurse, my husband, a long-time friend, his doctor and a Alzheimer's rep, they all agreed that taking away his keys was the best. I hid them in his house so I could honestly look him in the eye and tell him we did not have his keys in our house, they must be somewhere in your house. In January he hid his keys himself and after much time and effort on our part to get him new keys, his showed up. "They were always there" was his response to our asking him where they were. I am hoping that hiding the keys now will work on him the same way but he is really upset and yells at us and comes over 6-8 times a day. We are at our wits end. Should we "find" them? He has no short term memory and while we have POA, we do not have a conservatorship.

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The only REAL, SAFE solution is to get rid of the car, and tell him a plausible, PERMANENT place where the car has gone.

If his short term memory permits, tell him that HE donated his car to a wonderful group that needed a car to do good things for others, and how much his donation was appreciated.

Unless the car is removed, it WILL be a constant reminder of his painful loss, and he WILL spend time and make attempts to drive again. There’s also the risk of theft of the car, however disabled you try to make it, or the brake slipping and the car rolling (or being rolled) at his expense.

There is NO REMINDING that will work. After over 3 years in memory care, my LO will still occasionally ask me if I know where she parked her car.

Good luck with this- it’s for HIS safety but also for the potential safety of others.
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Keep the keys hidden.
I would also disable the car. disconnect the battery or flatten a tire (remove spare). Or a switch can be put on the car so that it can not be started unless you know of the switch. (Facilitator of my support group did this to prevent her husband from driving)
If possible when car is discovered “unable to run” Just bring it to another location and either sell it to a private party or most dealers will buy used. This is if you have the legal right to sell his property.

I told my Husband that he could not drive because of one of the medications he was on indicated that he should not drive. He accepted that and eventually stopped asking
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My mother was like that.
Then she hit the gas instead of the break, hit a meridian and flipped her car into a CVS parking lot.
She survived and then she told everyone, “I quit driving because I don’t want to pay for the insurance anymore.”
Yes she was a narcissist ✅
She could have killed others!
The doctors don’t listen to logic from family anymore.
Do whatever it takes.
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Disable the car. Pull the spark plug wires, take off the distributor cap -- do something that's not easily spotted or repaired on the spot. (Don't just disconnect the battery.) If he tries to get it towed, stick a note under the hood or call the mechanic and let them know the car was deliberately disabled and he's not allowed to drive. Mechanics are pretty cool about telling white lies for safety's sake.
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Tothill Sep 12, 2021
Instead of a note that the person could remove, get a broad sharpie and write on the inside of the hood.
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If your friend tends to be concerned about monetary situations you could tell him that he could risk losing serious money if he has driven and anything bad happens.

Of course he would have to remember what you told him regarding that. I just know from my experiences with my mother and late MIL that the subject of money can obsess the elderly particularly.
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If the DMV suspended his licence they must have also have requested it turned in. His car insurance company should be informed because they should not be insuring his car. His car should be sold or at least moved somewhere so he doesn't see it. Disable it.

Do you have a Police friend. If so, have him/her come over and explain that his license has been revoked by the State and as such he better not be driving.
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Why don't you just have a mechanic friend come over and remove a part of his car that won't allow it to even run? That way even if he has his keys he won't be able to get his car to run.
And in the meantime, just keep reminding him that the Dr. along with the DMV said he no longer could drive, and that he could end up in jail driving on a suspended license. Good luck.
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