She has memory loss and will tell us she showers at night. We know she is not. When we try to address this, she gets angry. She lives by herself, but we go to her house every morning to give her meds. Any suggestions?

Hospice ...palliative care will give her a shower 3 times a week.It is a great help when this anti shower campaign starts.
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Reply to Bubba12345

Carol122441: As I am also the same age as freqflyer at 77, I am in agreement with her in that showering/bathing got to be a more difficult task. Hair can be washed on a different day than the shower day. Anything helps - whether you make it less of a major task is helpful. Also, a fear of falling in the tub or shower is often a reason to postpone it. Sometimes for an elder (especially for your sister with dementia) a 'bird bath' in between regular showers may have to make do. The steps to shower may be lost to someone with dementia.
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Reply to Llamalover47

As I have become older [now 77 yrs old] I find taking a shower or even a bath is liking working out at the gym. It's tiring. Hubby feels the same way. We joke now when we look at the calendar and see a doctor appointment, that means one of us need to shower/bathe before going to the doctor :P

I have found using baby wipes inbetween showers/baths is helpful. And now I wash my hair at the kitchen sink as it is so much easier than in the shower. Oh, the things we do to make life a bit easier.
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Reply to freqflyer

She may not know how to shower anymore, She may not recognize the word "shower." You're calling it "memory loss," but with dementia, they lose executive function. That means that they can't figure out things that used to be simple. They can't follow through an idea with action. And so on.

You or an aide will need to step in here. She can't go on being dirty because it will cause skin or other problems. It may be difficult to get her in the shower; that's common.

At this point, it's time to consider full-time care for her either at home or in a facility. I suggest a facility, because managing in-home care and the 24/7 caregiver coverage is a huge responsibility and chore. It becomes exhausting very soon.
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Reply to Fawnby
Beatty Mar 3, 2024
"managing in-home care and the 24/7 caregiver coverage is a huge responsibility and chore".

Totally agree. Late, cancels, no-shows. Contracts, agreements, payments.

It is not currently up to me to arrange all that for my LO. If I ever took over as Guardian, I would arrange transfer to a facility for care.

"She has dementia, but still lives independently".

My LO lives alone too. Years ago a Social Worker re-phrased her situation as *Living alone, dependantly*.

That sunk in like a lead balloon falling.

Many reasons prevent proper hygiene / showering;
- Poor memory to know when last washed
- Embarressment & covering up
- No longer able to initate a task
- Unable to remember the sequence of steps (it's quite a lot when you break ot down: collect clean clothes, remove clothes, wash, dry, re-dress etc)

My LO has needed aides to visit every second day to make a shower happen.
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Reply to Beatty

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