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This is such a long story. There is no love lost between my siblings and me. I was caretaker for both parents until dad died 6/2017. Sister had money to afford attorney. I went legal services pro bono route. No lawyers would take the case. My siblings are highly abusive physically and mentally. Sister won case (long story) got guardian and ad litem for mom and had me evicted from family home 12/17. Then placed mom within the first year in locked down facility nursing home. Parents Will specifically states no nursing home. I was chosen POA and medical decision maker. Judge over ruled parents decision and gave guardianship and finaicial/medical decisions for mom to my sister. She put mom on Medicaid and bragged to everyone but me that home was placed in a trust. She didn't update me at all about anything concerning my mom or her medical care. I was refused visitation until she went into the nursing home.


Now, mom passed away 5/15. My heart is broken. But it's time now to execute the will. I am executor of the estate. They tried to change the entire will..but they had mom declared incompetent and it couldn't be changed.


The lawyer who did the will is retiring and only in his office 6 hours a week. He referred me to other attorneys due to family fighting.


They took/ threw away/ gave away all items in the home after I was forced out. They have taken items that are NOT theirs including my moms wedding ring as soon as she stopped breathing. Sister pocketed that as soon as she flatlined. Literally.


This is a heart breaking story of greedy siblings who viewed their parents belongings as their inheritance that they "earned".


I am still numb from losing mom, shock and disbelief at how cold and uncaring my siblings are. They are significantly older then I am. I came along 14 years and 11 years their junior.


I am disabled myself living off of SSI. $770/ mo income.


My parents built the family home from the basement on up..little bits here and there. They don't want to see it go to strangers. I am the only child with any sentimental attachment to items and the home itself. I would like , as my parents wanted as well...to see generations of our family grow up and celebrate holidays in this once happy home.


Sister lives in the home half of the year...and drives my parents car. Even tho the judge said she could live there as long as she was caring for our mom.


Do I need to evict her?


How do I get the house keys, car keys and info regarding financial matters??


I am very worried she isn't current on the utilities and taxes.


The lawyer who drew the will up (is also county attorney and is retiring).


I need some good advice and will honestly answer any and all questions. Im flying blindly here and need advice asap.


I can't afford a new attorney. I was moving from our small town to the city when Mom passed away. I currently am staying temp basis with my daughter who lives 65 miles away from family home.


My siblings have slandered my name & character in the small town until going to the grocery store gave me more anxiety than I can explain or even rationalize.


I've had severe depression coupled with anxiety and its made my medical situation so much worse since my dad died.


Please help...I need advice on how to handle this matter asap.


My siblings play dirty, viscious games and I am afraid for my phyisical safety. My grown children have begged me to just give everything to them and simply walk away. They are afraid for my safety. But my parents made their will...it was their final wishes and I believe it should be honored. I love my family and honor that connection. But enough is enough. The abuse has to stop. There has been significant physical and mental cruelty directed toward me and my now grown children.


I want to move forward, grieve for the loss of my parents and honor their memory as best as I can. But I need advice on how to proceed.


Thank you in advance !!

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I'm so agreeing with JoAnn29 how a will can be changed after being found incompetent. This is unbelievable and unbelievably cruel.

You have friends here, kpitts0949! We're pulling for you.
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I would question why a lawyer allowed changes when a person has been found incompetent by the court. Hope u prevail.
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Hello all!
I found out today that not only are they contesting the will. They took my mom after her guardianship hearing where she was declared mentally incompetent and had a new will done. In this will, I am not entitled to a penny. There were so many gregarious lies in the document...it was very hard to read.
I have an appointment with my lawyer on Monday. I will update you all then.
My siblings love to kick below the belt just for sport. Wow, they really hated me. And sad thing is that I really loved them until I saw their true colors.
I moved from our small town because of the slander and I am physically afraid for my life and that of my children and grandchildren.
Greedy siblings, indeed.
Im ashamed at how they have treated the wants and wishes of their own parents.
Thank you all for your support!
This group has helped me so very much!! Love to you all!!!
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Reply to kpitts0949
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Good, you have the ball rolling. Sounds like you got a good lawyer. Yes, get back to us and tell us what happens.

Good Luck! I hope your sister gets prosecuted in some way.

By the way, she should not be driving parents car. Its part of an estate that you are now handling.
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Good news indeed!

I am happy for you that this will all come right before it is over.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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You can afford a lawyer: the lawyer's fees will be legitimately paid for out of your parents' estate. Ask your friendly lawyer to recommend a successor. Don't mess about trying to sort this out yourself.
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worriedinCali May 20, 2019
Again there has to be money IN the estate and it sounds like there may not be anything except the house....if she was on Medicaid and it sounds like she was, then the estate has no money.
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If she was placed on Medicaid, the government will want to do a claw back on the home. I do not think there will be enough for anyone to keep. If you are the beneficiary on the home, needless to say you will be responsible for future bills. Can you afford your share of the home if you have to owe in the clawback?
By the way, you mention you could not get legal representation when sister petitioned for guardianship. Why did you not go to court by yourself to contest it? You were already with your mom. Or are we missing something in your post.
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kpitts0949 May 21, 2019
I was living with mom at the time....and had been for many many years.
It all boiled down to sister being able to afford better lawyer....and a court hearing that went 6 hours over ...judge got angry ...hadnt had had lunch... had to leave our hesring to do an eviction hearing (which he hates) and in the end at half past 5 (quitting time) had lost his temper and asked my mom if it woukd be ok for sister to move in . Mom thought he meant she would live there with all of us. So she agreed. Judge smacked gavel down and simplified a complicated situation ...in his mind at least.
It broke moms heart and her Alzheimer's worsened after this.
Sisters abusive son followed us home from the hearing...attacking me and my daughter...callong us C word rhyming with shunt. And every F word in the book.
They dialed 911 and sheriffs removed them as they were throwing our possessions out on front lawn.
They are highly abusive people. Making matters worse...my son and I had no where else to go at the time. I am on SSI. $750./ MONTHLY
Finding an aprtment was really rough. We had to stay under the same roof with abusers until we found a place. It was a crappy place..but out of abuse...
Thats the story associated with why we left the home. We had to. It was court ordered. But afterward my siblings took everything I had ever owned from the home and got dumsters..it was either trashed or given to their kids or put on facebook marketplace/indoor yrd sale and I was blocked from viewing.
There were so many violations to the court order.
Karma is coming to town now, though.
I feel so much better getting good advice from all of you and the attorney!
Thanks again!!
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I skimmed the answers but I agree that you should hand it over to a lawyer. He should only take the 5 or 6% of the estate when all is said and done. He/she will be in a lot better position than you to STOP whatever your siblings think they can do. He can keep them from selling. Ask to have any items that they have brought back to the estate. Your POA stopped when sister became guardian. Her guardianship stopped upon Moms death. He wil, do it all with letters, if they don't comply, then vourt orders. This would all be overwhelming to you.

Who inherits the home and car? If you, a lawyer will know how to proceed with evicting sister. I had a friend tell me when her Mil went into AL they were allowed to sell her house for her care. But, all her belongings had to be put in storage until her death. The storage was paid out of the woman's money. She lived for at least 10 yrs. I hope the money the siblings received from selling her belongings went to Moms care. If not, lawyer may ask that it be paid back to the estate.

I really think this is the way you should go. It may take a while but will go so much smoother. No headache for you. When all is said and done the house is saved and you can disown ur siblings.
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kpitts0949 May 19, 2019
Will states that house with all contents and another piece of property are to go to me.
Dad gave them everything they were entitled to before he died. The exception being the car and truck were to be sold and the proceeds split 3 ways. But if they contest the will in any way...they get $1. And no more.
He had given his diamond wedding band to my brother ...even though it was in the will to go to him. My brother took it to a pawn shop and immediately got cash for it. Dad spoke to his attorney who talked sense into him and dad asked for the ring to be returned until after...the way the will was written. Ring was gone. And that was only 1 item.
Sister was allowed to live in the home and pay rent to mom as long as mom lived there. But she put her into the nursing home when all the care for mom fell onto her shoulders. I had done it for 15 years or more. By the way....no rent was ever paid. Even after the court order.
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If you are executor, the estate pays the executor-related legal bills.

You need to get established as personal representatuve, then executor. This needs to be started immediately. There are deadlines and if the process isn’t started, you’ll lose this role.

No one is allowed to sell/take/keep/disrupt property of the estate. This is very time sensitive. As executor, it is your duty to pay the bills and protect the items in the estate. If you don’t do this, you can also be removed.

It is best to have an impartial lawyer (that did not write the will) represent you now anyway. It sounds as though the lawyer who wrote the will eventually will be needed as a “witness.” Start looking around for a great lawyer. Make a call tomorrow for the first available appointment. Don’t pick the friendly, neighborhood solo practitioner with no area of specialty. Hire a big gun who is an estate expert in a large firm (well supported by experienced colleagues).

It sounds like your sister wants to steamroll you. She thinks she can push you around and get everything her way. Don’t let her continue. She will turn “nice” when she sees you gaining momentum. Don’t fall for it. Don’t cave in.

You may have looked up to her once. Stop. See her for who she is. Rise up! Do this for your parents!

This is a very important last lesson your parents are giving you. When this is over you will be stronger in every way.

Buckle your seat belt. This part of the journey is a rough ride.

You will be okay. You will get through this.
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Shell38314 May 19, 2019
Excellent advice!
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The county clerk is the keeper of records. Some county websites are very good, some not so much. Medicaid may not file the lien until after death. Kinda strange that sis remained in the house. Was she paying rent to mom?

When the lien is filed it will be in the county clerk's office records. That is safekeeping for all thing related to the house. The clerk's site may even have an option to search for records by address, Medicaid lien when filed will show up there.

Call Medicaid if lien is not yet showing up. They can place a lien on a home in a trust. When the home was moved to the trust it was the same as gifting the money. You NEED to see an attorney. If there is not money from estate to pay for that, many county probate courts have specific days where you can receive free help to navigate the system.
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kpitts0949 May 19, 2019
She was supposed to pay rent to mom and take care of mom in the home. They didnt want a nursing home. It was written in the actual will.
But it was taken out of my hands.
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You need to step away from face to face with your siblings. Hire an estate lawyer to start probate and enforce your position as executor. No need for you to deal with them
The lawyer should point out that they will lose more money by fighting the contents of the will Sell the house split the gain and be rid of them
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Reply to PandabearAUS
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I am sorry for your loss and for being in such a mess. Most cities have a city website this is where you can look up the house taxes, utilities and other information. This is how I found out that my mother wasn't paying her taxes in 2015.

Do as someone stated hire a Estate Lawyer from another city. You are going to have to become a emotional pit bull. Your sibs have taken the gloves off so you might as well do the same. Google is your friend every thing we do and have is online. For example, I can find out that my next door neighbor has been in jail or got a speeding ticket, who his vet is, if he paid the water bill, his favorite places he shops online...you get my point...you are probably thinking you don't know where to start! Start by typing in the city and state where the house is and you don't have to be an IT person to do this stuff. Plus, you can tell your new lawyer what is going on with the house and what your sister is doing. He/she can look into it.

You are in for one h3ll of a fight. Do you realize that? These people are in it to win...they are going for blood. Are you up for that? I am not trying to scare you; I just want you to know what you are in for.

But remember you are the Executor of the Will that means you hold all the cards. They don't realize that and that is a good thing!

Your sibs had no right to sell anything that belong to your parents and use the money for themselves. By doing so they broke the law. I am not a lawyer, but I am very good at problem solving as long as it is not my own! I have work for people in helping them solve problems and that was what I did for many years.

You will have to find out if mom was on Medicaid and if there is a lien on the house first. Again your city website will have a search for deeds this will show you whos name is on the house or if there is a lien on it. (Or just google "deed registration with city and state) For example, deed registration Jonesville Florida).

One last thought, leave your emotions out of it. As humans we get emotional about things or what was said or not said and this is what causes are mishaps, mistakes. Keep your emotions in check! I know this will be hard but you have too! Do not make any decisions using your emotions, nor don't make quick decisions either.

You can do this, I think you are stronger than what you think you are.

Keep us updated and good luck!
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worriedinCali May 19, 2019
actually her city website may not have information on deeds. Typically, that information is found on the county website, at least in my state. And if you want to find out about leins, you have to pay for a report.
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I meant sister became guargian and conservator...not adlitem
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Mom was on Medicaid?  How does MERP figure in here in regards to the house?
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Reply to rovana
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I am sorry for your loss. It is so difficult in these family situations to properly grieve the loss.

Take care of you.

The will says what is to be done, all guardianship and POAs ended at death, at this point only the named executor of the will has any authority and that is only to do what the will says.

Start probate and hire an attorney through/for the estate.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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As the executor you are responsible to follow the directions of the Will.  The first thing that you need to do is hire an Estate Attorney!  This person will be paid by the Estate funds PRIOR to any money being given to any heirs.  ALL Court and Attorney fees and any bills  MUST be paid by the Estate PRIOR to any money being distributed to the heirs.  If your family members have a problem with that, then they can hire their own attorney.  Hire someone from a different town since your parents lived in such a small town.  Do not use the lawyer who drew up the Will if he is not going to be available because he is retiring.  Settling the Estate can take 6+ months or longer.  YOU CAN DO THIS!!  That is why your parents chose you as the Executor.
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PandabearAUS May 19, 2019
This is a good answer
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The estate can’t pay if the estate has no money. It sounds like there is no money and the siblings are all fighting over the house.....
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Reply to worriedinCali
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I am not a lawyer and this is one of those things that can vary by state but if you are the executor of the will you should be able to hire an attorney for the estate paid for by the estate. This would not be a set up of you against your siblings (though it seems to work out that way) it's your siblings fighting the estate so they need to hire their own attorneys and if you were contesting the will you would too but in this case you are the estate representative so the estate attorney will be working with you within the estate guidelines, your parents legal wishes. But if I were you I would go find a good estate lawyer to consult paid for by the estate.
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