I'm 68 and caring for a disabled spouse. Are there any programs that can help me care for my wife?

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I am 68, retired military, with health issues of my own...Atrial fibrillation, osteoarthritis, high blood pressure, and am currently receiving hormone treatments for prostate cancer. My wife is 100%, receiving Soc Sec Disability. She can only do small things around the house. Simply folding her underwear can wear her out. I do everything else, and sometimes, despite the fact that I try to exercise regularly and eat properly, I just run out of steam.

Additionally, our daughter is a legally-blind, single mom with three kids who often need our (my) help...mainly for transportation and a little babysitting, but it just adds to the difficulties.

From time to time, the pressure builds up in me and I just feel like leaving everything on the counter and not bothering to clean the kitchen, cook a meal, or anything else.

We cannot afford to have regular help come in. Are there any programs which might assist me in caring for my wife?

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zeebiz - please do as ferris1 says and check out the VA website. My father-in-law was retired military, and there are excellent benefits to help you. Your wife may also qualify for DIC, which I was able to get my mother-in-law after my father-in-law passed away. There are also veterans who will help you with the paperwork too. Contact your local Vets organization and they might be able to guide you to them. Good luck!!
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You should also check with your area agency on aging. Excellent source of information for benefits, service providers, support programs, and other resources in your area. You can find your local office by searching at eldercare dot gov (eldercare.gov). Since your daughter also has a disability, it might be worth it to get in touch with a local independent living center to discuss support options for her as well. Good luck to you all!
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Yes, zeebiz, there is a pension from military called Aid and Attendance for 24/7 care for a veteran and spouse which I recently applied for with the VA. Upon approval both of you are eligible for a $2973 per month pension which is tax free. Go to www.va.gov and look to the left hand side of the page for pensions. You need to fill out forms, have the doctor fill out forms, and include all tests verifying your disabilities, and then submit. It may take some time to get approval, but it will be worth it. Please try it, and my best to you. We are Air Force, my husband having served in WWII, Korean, & Vietnam Wars. Thank you for your service too!
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