Over the past year, following the loss of her partner of ~20 years, my mother (nearly 76) has begun to decline, cognitively. We have a neuropsych eval set up for a few weeks from now (finally- it took FOREVER get her on board and then to get the appt.), so I hope we'll have more information about what's actually going on soon. (Her own mother had Alzheimer's and we suspect that might be what's happening, but it could be some other sort of dementia or even a brain tumor, I suppose.) The details are not terribly important right now, but one of the ways she's changed is that she's become quite gullible and believes nearly everything she reads if it comes in the mail; one impact this has had was her signing up for almost every sweepstakes (damn that PCH!), believing their inflated claims about her being 'the next winner'! She also seems to have gotten on the mailing list of every 'medical' journal and direct-mail company promoting 'medical' breakthroughs (these read like tabloid magazines to me). She, fortunately, no longer has much ability to actually order anything she reads about (no checking account and credit cards have been closed), but it doesn't stop her from being taken in by their claims and telling me all about the 'amazing work of Dr. Sears'. (I've put her on all sorts of 'do not mail' lists and submit removal requests with the 'companies' I find in her mail, but things don't seem to have abated much.)
That was all a long preamble to my question: since she seems to believe nearly everything that comes in the mail, I'm wondering if I can use that to my advantage in some way? I've been trying to convince her to move to a community where she will be with others her age (I believe she's lonely but won't admit it), with support and structure that will alleviate my anxieties about her, and while she's open to it, in theory, she won't take any action, herself (perhaps she is incapable). Maybe if I can have her sent some information in the mail that shows these communities in a really positive light and addresses the cons of staying at home, she might start to believe THAT.
Of course, everyone has a right to self-determination and maybe I don't actually know what's best for her; I just think she should open herself up to the idea of AL, as I think she would be happier and I would worry less. She has become very reliant on me not only to help with lots of little 'situations' she gets herself into but also for companionship. I live about 30-40 min away and see her once or twice a week (with calls in between visits), but I can't be there all the time. I just think she might have an opportunity to really thrive in a community where there are fun activities and people around for both support and companionship.
So, if anyone has a resource they can recommend, I would appreciate it! Something that I could request to be mailed to her. I know that many AL facilities would be happy to send their brochures, but I'm looking for something more 'objective' and general in nature, not necessarily a sales pitch for a specific facility.
Thank you! This is my first time posting, but I pop in every now and again and have appreciated the insights of the community here.