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Mom is in skilled nursing, but has improved enough to go home (with help). Now Dad is diagnosed with cirrhosis and stage 2 liver cancer. He is probably not going to have surgery due to lengthy recovery time. I’m trying to find the best solution for their future. Mom can’t live alone, I’m assuming Dad’s health will soon deteriorate, and to me assisted living might afford them time together. They are both fighting me on this... help!

Sit down with them and make a list of all the help they are going to need. Personal care, home maintenance, laundry, house keeping, yard and garden, appointments, shopping, food prep etc.

Next decide which if any of the things on the list you are prepared to do for them. Be very clear as to the amount of time you have available, including travel time from your home to theirs.

Then have them review which of the tasks they can do for themselves. Which can you outsource, such as prescription delivery, grocery delivery or meals on wheels.

Now look at the remaining items can your parents afford to pay for those services?

Lastly, find out what Dad’s prognosis is, how long does he have left? What will his decline look like?

One more thing, ask them what their plans are for Mum once Dad dies, or vis versa?
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