By #2, I gather that you mean that you are the backup person in case #1 can't fulfill his responsibilities? Is that how the POA is worded? I'm not sure what you mean but legal standing, but if you are the back up person, then your legal standing only kicks in when he can't do his job or decides to step down from it.
However, that is not the same as when two people are co-POA with equal standing with actually causes a whole lot of problems because then both have to agree about everything.
How is your relationship with your brother? Are you on good speaking terms with him or is their some ongoing conflict that has continued since childhood? I hope you can decide to work with each other and support each other in making sure that your mother is cared for and safe. That's the main thing anyway.
You have absolutely no standing at all, until or unless #1 is unwilling or unable to perform his/her duties. Period. It also sounds like you really resent that bro has been "taken care of" by mom, clearly for taking on the responsiblity of being POA. Don't you think he should be GREATLY compensated for handling all of this? If not, you need to spend some time reading the posts on this site from people who ARE providing care. It's the hardest job on the planet, and I guarantee you -- most of mom's estate will be spent on her care, so there probably won't be much left anyway. And if there is any left, bro and whoever else cared for mom should be the ones getting it, not you.
I guess the main point is this: a POA is already in place, and hasn't been deemed unwilling or unable. Being number 2 means nothing -- that "appointment" doesn't exist, since in reality, that appointment doesn't legally occur until after #1 is removed, and it is only "arranged for" as a secondary remedy. In most instances, the person(s) named as secondaries rarely ever take power anyway.
Our attorney drew up a "resignation of POA duty" form, had the #1 POA sign, and filed it at the courthouse where the first document was filed. I use a copy of the filed registration AND, a copy of the filed original when I have to present my papers for business. Banks require additional paperwork in some cases.
Thanks cmagnum. We're not on speaking terms although I've tried to convince him to put all else aside and work together for our mother but he wants all her money. That's the only explanation I have for him not speaking to me because he just stop. No reason for him to do so but obviously he has some problem with me and I don't know why and he won't say. I hate family money issues and don't care about the cash except for the fact that he and his family abuse her by not bothering with her, and she lives next door!. The abusers will benefit when she's gone and I'm not happy about that. I'd rather lawyers get it all and not him. His whole family, kids and grandkids are set for life as it is. I've told my mother over the years to spend it all but to no avail. She can spend 1/2 of it and still live very comfortably. I've been financially underwater for years and told, rather asked her if she could find it in her heart to give me 1/2 of what she wanted to leave me now and then I'd be able to afford a bigger place and have her live with my wife and me. Sorry to say to find it in her heart means she has to find her heart first. Sounds harsh but I have been dealing with a very vengeful person my whole life, 64 years. It is what it is. Thanks
My brother now wants out of being the POA. Do I have to do anything special or do I just move to the POA position. Please be patient with me all of you because I only had 6 months clooege educat and doesn't think I'll take care of my mom. Money or no, she's my mom and if I have to live in a tent in the backyard, my wife and I will do so.
Sorry, I meant to say he now wants out of the POA. Do I do anything special or do I just move automatically into no 1 spot. Please be patient with me since I only had 6 months of college education and my brother doesn"t think I'm able or even want to take care of my 88 yr. old mind, My wife and I will live in our backyard if need be
However, that is not the same as when two people are co-POA with equal standing with actually causes a whole lot of problems because then both have to agree about everything.
How is your relationship with your brother? Are you on good speaking terms with him or is their some ongoing conflict that has continued since childhood? I hope you can decide to work with each other and support each other in making sure that your mother is cared for and safe. That's the main thing anyway.
Take care.
Thanks